Girl On Top

Chapter 20- Woe

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A few days had passed since the camping trip. To summarise my life for the past few days is basically this routine.

Wake up, university, avoid Emma, home, food, re-evaluate my life, sleep repeat.

I scratched my head with the end of the paint brush and stared at the blank canvas, nope I've not nothing.

Come on brain thinkkkkkkkk.

But that was the problem I couldn't think, my brain was flustered. If I even thought about thinking my brain might shut down and run away from my body.

I glance upwards, my mouth pursed but slightly open and loose. My eyes are fixed as if I'm looking at something a yard behind my head.

All three guys had confessed that they liked me and that just made me feel a thousands times worse than I already did.

I was lucky that anyone liked me, but they didn't know what I did. They can't know. I don't feel lucky...

Well, to be grammatically correct Phoenix had actually said, "I love you, you're so beautiful." I cringed as I ran my fingers through my hair.

It could have been a figure of speech like how I tell the postman I love him when he brings my parcel early. Yeah of course that must be it!

Shut up Andy.

No, that's not it. Damn! I needed to think logically and doing that while thinking about guys wasn't easy...trust me.

Thinking about guys was the hardest thing in the world, one second I'm drooling over them. Then the next I want to slap them all.

When I began to ponder about them I got lost in their good looks and charms. Ugh stop thinking about guys abs! I exhaled and squeezed my eyes shut.

One...two...three

Each guy had pros and cons about them, some had more pros and less cons while others had more cons and less pros.

I'd decided the best way to decide on which guy I wanted was to list their pros and cons and how I genuinely felt about them.

Of course I did it in chronological order otherwise my maze of thoughts would never been silenced.

Sebastian, he was the first guy I'd slept with since arriving. He was sweet, kind and not to mention extremely cute. Indeed he was very much boyfriend material.

But one, I was drunk when it happened so I'm not exactly sure how good my experience in the sheets was. Two, he was too nice if that made sense. Sebastian was too good for someone like me, he was Gucci and I was Walmart it was just never going to work out.

My life was a mess especially at the moment and maybe I needed a sweetheart like him to way me down. So for that reason Sebastian was still in the run in.

Enzo, well, uh, what can I say about him. He was the second roommate I slept with and that was indeed very fun.

He's handsome no doubt, funny and when it suited him he could actually be a nice guy. But...he could also be the biggest asshole to ever walk the planet. Did I really want to date an asshole?

But you're an asshole.

I sighed, I was in a way. Only an asshole would do something like this. Hey maybe two assholes would work out good together, who knows? So that meant Enzo could also still be the one.

That leaves Phoenix, my last 'run in'. He was smart, had a beautiful smile and a hot body. I actually enjoyed talking to him, we could talk for hours and hours about anything and everything.

Con, he did cheat and maybe he would cheat on me if we did go out. Could I trust him? Would he get back together with Emma?

Suddenly, waves of heat coursed through my blood, a cold sweat glistened in my gaunt features. My eyes sunken and my skin sallow, everything ached, everything sagged. The glass of water stared at me from the bedside table, I took a sip and plopped onto the pillow.

Why do I feel like crap?

My stomach growled and I squirmed in my bed to try to silence the rumbling. Am I hungry? No no I can't be I just ate and plus the thought of food made me want to vomit. What's wrong with me?

Frowning, I grabbed my laptop and pulled it up onto my knees. I tapped the keyboard a few times before a white screen with red font popped up.

Netflix.

Screw guys, who needed guys when you had Netflix? I lifted my blanket, moulding myself into the pillow and watched the show.

Tonight I would enjoy my date...with Netflix.

• what are your favourite shows? •