The Outlaw (Now on Radish)

Chapter 13

I watched Victor as he paced father's study. Papa sat at the head of his desk as Mama sat with me, stroking my stomach for her own comfort. We had discovered that Robert's parents had notified the authorities of Victor's last whereabouts. They were waiting for Robert to return home with more information. I prayed that Louisa has told them of my condition. I knew what Victor was thinking; how to surrender without ruining my reputation.

"Will the local news hear of this?" Victor asked, wringing his hands together. "If we can, I'd like to keep Abigail's name out of this completely."

"You want me to testify, Victor. Our secret marriage will come out either way." I said.

"And the pregnancy." Mama said. "Things are different now, Abby. You must think of the baby first."

"What if I turned myself in now?" Victor asked Papa.

"Absolutely not!"

I rose to my feet, my cheeks growing redder by the second. He made a promise to me, and he would not go back on it now. He promised to not give up. Papa collected Mama and led her out of the study. Victor faced me with his hands on his hips, daring me to speak first.

"You promised you wouldn't give up."

"I'm not giving up, I'm turning myself in before your reputation is ruined." Victor said angrily. "I'd doing what is best for us."

"Staying is what is best! We need you, Victor! If you are worried about my wellbeing, then say it!" I exclaimed.

"I am worried about your reputation, Abigail! We never properly courted, or wed for that matter. What would people think? You are pregnant, and I cannot risk you being an outcast because of me." Victor was seething. His muscles were taught and the cords of his neck were strained. He wasn't telling me something, and I knew I was not going to get it from him.

"Why does my reputation matter, Victor? I never cared for it, you know that! I threw society to the wind when I married you. If you think I am not proud to be your wife, then you are wrong. I would rather be Mrs. Victor Gray than Lady Abigail." I moved closer to Victor, reaching for his hands. He pulled away, shaking his head.

"You shouldn't, Abigail. I shouldn't have pulled you into my mess." He said, turning away from me. My stomach churned with a horrible feeling. I did not want to ask him, but I needed to know.

"Do you regret marrying me?" I asked softly. I watched Victor's body language, and my heart broke. "I am going to retire for the night—you are not welcome in my bed, Mr. Gray."

"Abigail—" Victor called out to me, but it was too late. He had broken my heart once again. I made it to my room as quickly as I could, turning the lock behind me. I began to sob. My marriage was all for not.

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Victor

I found myself in Helen's room, with a bottle of whiskey I kept in our old servant's quarters. I could hear my wife's faint sobs, but I could not go to her. As much as it killed me, I wanted her to hate me. It would make it easier for me to leave her. I heard Albert's yell before I saw him. I did not care to hear his words, especially his shouting.

"Why?" He asked, much calmer than before. "Why, Victor, throw everything away?"

"Because I love her, Albert. Her safety is what I am trying to secure for now." I slurred, reaching for my bottle. Albert was faster, grabbing the bottle and heading for the window. I watched as he opened the window wide enough to drop the bottle into the snow below. "Come, you need to hear something." He said, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me up. We walked quickly down the hall, past my wife's now quiet room. I knew Helen was in there, comforting her. He pulled me to what I assumed was his parents room.