My Ocean (GirlxGirl)

Wild - Troye Sivan

You make my heart shake, bend and break, but I can't turn away and it's driving me wild.
You're driving me wild.

Text her. Resist texting her. Ask her to meet up. Give her space. Ask your friends what you should do. Tell her how you feel. Don't.
Stop. Thinking. About. Her.

Welcome to my head, where these thoughts keep whirling around like the winds of the hurricane I call my mind.

I will see her again in 3 weeks. We met on a surfing trip in France in July, about 2 months ago, and spend a week together with about 30 other people our age, which is around the age of 20. In 3 weeks, there will be a reunion with the entire group. I know she'll be there. I know I'm going. Which means I'll have to face her. I want to. I'm excited to see her. Even if she's going to break my heart. At least then I'll know.

She used to shake my heart, she still does every now and then. She would make me so happy, give me the biggest rush. Everything was going well. I was falling for her, and just maybe, she was falling for me too. And even if she wasn't, I would be okay with that. I would be more than happy with being just her friend. I just wanted to make her happy. I still do.

Now, she bends my heart more than she shakes it. Everything isn't even close to going well. I don't even know what we are anymore. I don't know what happened. I don't know what changed. I just know that it did.

She might break my heart. She probably will. She definitely will. You see, love usually doesn't last. Not to be all pessimistic and everything is doomed or anything, but that's just the truth. So the question isn't whether she will break my heart or not, because I'm pretty sure she will. The question is, when and in what way?