My Ocean (GirlxGirl)

Drive - Oh Wonder

I can't help but drive away from all the mess you made,
You sent this hurricane, now it won't go away.

So now you want to hang out with me? I don't get it. You haven't shown any sign of interest in me for the past, what, 3 weeks now, and now you want to see me? Do you even understand yourself right now? Because I sure as hell don't.

And I promised I'd be there for you,
But you don't make it easy,
Darling please believe me.

You don't understand yourself either. I now know this with more certainty because I've had a chat with a good friend of yours at the reunion. At first we weren't even talking about you but somehow that's where our conversation ended up because you suddenly weren't coming anymore. Anyway, she basically told me you're a mess right now. You're going through a lot and you don't know what you want and what to do and you're just generally confused. Which sucks for you of course, but it was nice to get some kind of confirmation of what I have been suspecting for a while now.

'Cause loving you, loving you,
Is too hard.
All I do, all I do,
Is not enough.
Loving you, loving you,
I cannot be loving you, loving you.

I'm not sure if I still want to see you. I mean, I do, of course I do, but something has changed since last weekend. And I don't think it's the other girl, because I've been feeling different since the moment I heard you weren't going to show up anymore. Like I said, it just felt definite. And this doesn't change that. Which is a good thing I think, right? I'm not getting sucked back in right away. The thing is, I'm scared that if I do meet up with you, maybe that's exactly what's going to happen.

"Loving you, loving you,
Leaves me hurt.
All I do, all I do,
Is get burned.
Loving you, loving you,
I cannot be loving you, loving you."

I decided to agree on seeing you. I don't know if that's a smart decision, but I feel like it's the only one I can make. I know I have to be careful though, just because you ask me to hang out doesn't mean it's actually going to happen. We've made plans before but I still haven't seen you since that week in France. So before I'm going to let myself feel any type of way about meeting you, let's first just wait and see if it's even happening in the first place.

*******

"Yeah sure, when are you free?" I asked you. That was 4 days ago. No response. Surprising huh? Yeah, not really.

It ended long ago,
So please just let me go.

It doesn't hurt like it used to anymore. Actually it took me 2 days to find out you hadn't responded, because I had completely forgotten about it. Guess maybe I really am done waiting around for you. Not that I stopped caring, not at all. Actually, I'm still worried about you.

But by now I have realized that you're a fire that simply burns to bright. And no matter how much the flames attract, all they do is burn, so I have learned to keep my distance. However, I do wonder how far I have to stay away to still be able to admire them without getting hurt. Can I still be your friend? Or is that still to close?