Mortal Instruments Malec Fanfiction

Love and Loss

Magnus and Alec sat side by side on the dungeon floor. Deep sighs of boredom poured out of Magnus. Alec simply tapped his fingers in a rhythmic pattern on the stone floor.

"What did you do in here?" Magnus's voice broke the silence.

"Sleep mostly." Came Alec's quiet reply.

"How could you sleep forever?" Magnus asked sarcastically.

"It was the only thing to keep away the pain." Alec's voice suddenly sharp, cutting into Magnus.

Magnus paled.

"You know you could try to communicate rather than shut me out," Magnus grumbled. "We both know what happened last time."

Alec's jaw tightened and he glared daggers across the room.

"Really? I've been waiting for you to say something." Alec challenged Magnus. A face off began, each one daring the other to attack first. Magnus took the bait.

"I haven't forgiven you," Magnus started. "What you did was ..." Magnus shook his head.

"Then why are you here?" Alec snapped.

"Because I love you. But it doesn't change what you did. The trust that you betrayed." Magnus's eyes were fiery, looking like liquid gold burning underneath the surface.

Alec winced like every word Magnus said was a slap in the face. His body was tensed, and sparks of energy began to crackle in his palms.

"Can't you see that I wanted to be with you? That was why I did it." Alec pleaded softly.

"I have lived for hundreds of years. I have loved and lusted hundreds of others, male and female, but none of them were like you. None of them could take my heart and hold it gently, or rip it apart so easily.
Loving you is a thrill ride. At the best points you are going so high, so fast, that nothing could touch you.
But then you reach the top, and you start to go down, and your stomach drops, your body is whipped from side to side,
until it's just fear.
And hurt.
And exhaustion." Magnus was almost talking to himself.

"And then you wonder if you can still love the thrill, if the fall is so terrible. That is what it is like to love some one like I love you. I don't know if I'm strong enough to love you, when you could hurt me so easily." Magnus concluded. Shining tears in his eyes reflected his turmoil as he looked on as the most dangerous person in his life.

Listening to Magnus, Alec sat motionless. He didn't think he trusted himself to move without losing what little self control he had left. The energy in his hands blinked out of existence as his anger turned to despair.

'What if he can't love me?' Alec thought to himself. 'What if I hurt him more than I help him? I can't do that to him.'

They sat a mere 4 feet away from each other in the prison cell, but it might as well have been miles. Now there was a gaping chasm between them that looked impossible to breach.

Silence reigned.

A little while later, metal-on-metal clang resounded through the still air. Magnus stood up but Alec stayed on the ground, preferring not to see what was coming. Pairs of feet came marching down the hall, beating the drums of someone's arrival.

"Hey guys, miss me?" Ky's sarcastic smirk asked.

"Not in the least bit." Magnus played along.

Alec glanced up and then down again to the stone he was holding in his scabbed hands.

'Ky looks no worse than when he left this morning.' Magnus noted silently. 'Maybe we can get out of this okay.'

He glanced back at Alec, remembering the words that had been said.

'Maybe not.' He thought sadly.