His Therapist

30

Monah

Rubbing my thumb across August bottom lip I found myself staring at him for the past hour he had fallen asleep a little bit after dropping Nani off at school and now I was up being a weirdo.

It's hard to believe that I'm actually in love again only this time it feels right I know August will be the man I spend the rest of my life with and he's going to show me how to be loved the proper way.

These past two months were an eye opener for me I needed to get myself together, I had to become a stronger woman therefore a lot of changes will be made, I will no longer let people see me sweat or push me over. I've always been submissive which gave people the opportunity to walk over me.

The way Mia acted towards me showed me that I was weak in her eyes, she knew that I wouldn't of said anything to her because I was too afraid of losing her I needed her and that's where I went wrong. If I would of stood up for myself it wouldn't of gotten that far same with my mother. If I would of told her how I felt instead of leaving she would of respected me she's another person who sees how weak I am and she too takes advantage of it they love to see me beg and cry for there forgiveness it's wrong.

I had to stop it some where I don't want August to be another person who feels like he can say/ do what he wants. I knew that yesterday he felt a certain with all of the crying I was doing but he didn't say anything. I'm too sensitive and who's to say he won't get tired of it and leave me. No man wants a grown woman who cries 24/7 like a needy child I had to stop. And if I was going to work on me August had some things to work on as well one of them being his temper.

August has a short temper and it's a problem it's like he's so quick to snap without even giving me time to explain myself he's always jumping to conclusions. If we're going to be in a relationship we have to compromise with one another he has to listen to what I have to say and I can't always shut down and cry we have to do better. I want more good memories than bad with this relationship.

"Baby get up".

I whined straddling him it was pushing 10 and I was bored. I didn't have Tote to play with because he ran away and my baby was in school so August was my only hope.

"August" I bounced up and down on his stomach causing him to groan. "Auggie", His eyes popped he stared at me and kissed his teeth.

"Told you bout that gay ass name" He grumbled throwing his arm over his face. "Pay me some attention". I moved his arm leaning closer to him. He pulled me down flipping us over, "Go ta sleep".

"I'm not sleepy though". I wrapped my legs around him. "Whatcha wanna do?" He kissed my neck pulling  the flesh in between his teeth.

"Mhm talk". His hand crept up my leg brushing past my bare center. "You sho?"

"Yes" I reached down swatting his hand away watching him laugh. Turning so that he was laying on his back with his head on my stomach I sat up as he ran his hand over my leg.

"What's on ya mind?" I ran my fingers through his hair massaging his scalp.

"How do you feel about what went on yesterday?" So much happened and we weren't able to actually sit and talk about it.

"I'm still hurt at the fact you tried to kill ya self it's gone take a lah minute to get over but as fa ol boy I wanna beat his ass again". I sighed out grabbing ahold of his hand planting kisses on his bruised knuckles.

"I'm sorry about that I didn't know he would act like that I can promise you we didn't do anything he did that to ruffle your feathers he knew I was in a relationship with you it's so confusing because when I told him about you he said that he respects my relationship and that he wouldn't cross any lines and then he sees you in person and do the complete opposite". I was pissed with the stunt Allen tried to pull and he would surely be hearing my mouth about it.