Skipping Rocks - Completed

Useless

Rose P.O.V

Useless. Thats all I can think about. I feel numb inside, and outside. I feel like the world around me has frozen, nothing moves as I walk through the halls of the empty hospital. I'm searching for something, for anything. I feel dead, why aren't I dead? Why did Merlin decide to spare me? I turn to see a doorway and I step in to see nothing but a window, I stare outside blankly.

Useless. I look at the scar. They were marking me so that people would know that all I am is; useless. I feel depressed, and I'm loosing faith. I snuck out of the room were my cousin and her boyfriend slept in search for Scorp. He decided to wander off. Or so I think. I don't remember much of what happened today, just that there are more people. But I guess thats just my luck.

Useless. That word is ringing in my ear. I try to block it out, to focus on something else but it keeps getting stronger. How do you kill emotions? Whats your least favorite emotion? Mine is sadness, or pain. Because its stupid that I have to feel like this. Am I useless? Why was I put on this earth?

Useless. Thats probably what they all think of me. I can't help them, I can only hurt them. All I can do is hurt them or cause them pain. I don't understand why I continue on, to be strong? But for what... To waste space? But why... I  don't understand why I have to continue.

Useless. This torture, this pain. Why does it exist? Why should someone have to deal with this? These questions can't be answered. Humans can be cruel, and so can Wizards, and Witches. We simply have to deal with the pain, for thats what is expected. No your questions won't be answered and yes you do have to pretend that your fine.

Useless. I might be, but the people that I love are not. So I will make sure they are fine. I don't have to be okay. I'm already not okay. I'm broken. If someone knows how to fix a broken soul then please let me know. Because I can't seem to do this. But as for now, I will be 'fine'. No one will know how I feel, because my emotions don't matter.

Useless. This word is something that people don't understand. It has a strong meaning behind it. Useless means;  not serving the purpose or any purpose; unavailing or futile. Thats what I am? I am mistake. Why does Scorpius care about a mistake? Why does anyone care about me? 

Useless. Thats how I feel as I walk back to the room. I creak the door open to see Scorpius, and Lysander. But no Roxanne. I look behind the door to finally see her scrawny body. She has no meat on her bones. She is frail. But she isn't useless. She means so much to all of us. Does she know?

Useless. Is not a word to use when describing my cousin. Roxanne is fierce, Loyal, Protective, Emotional, Smart, Funny, Sassy, and Brave. She is above all important. She can make anyone smile, does she know how much she is loved? 

Useless. You can't describe Scorpius with that word. Cocky, caring, smart, loving, funny, nice. But not useless. Am I useless? Does anyone actually love me? I am head over heels for someone, and he is a Malfoy. But does he feel the same?

Useless. It's a word that is used more than it should be. Only some people are useless, and one of them is me. I cry myself to sleep every night. sometimes I hold my breath until I pass out because I know I'm a waste of air. This whole torture thing has showed me something. I need to be better.

Useless. Thats what I think I am, but I need to quit it. I know people love me, I need to get the hell out of here! I can't be here. I can't be useless anymore, and I refuse to die here. To die some were you feel useless is to live with no light. It's stupid! So I won't die here. 

Useless. Thats my quest in life. No, not to be useless. But to figure out if thats what I am. People love me, everyone is loved. I don't feel numb anymore. Emotions fill me up as I walk over to Scorpius. He murmurs my name in his sleep. I smile. Someone does love me, and I love him.

Useless. It's truly a stupid word. in fact its the most stupid word in the English dictionary. But thats what I am. A stupid word. A useless one. Its true, this cut on my arm. I may be useless. But it can mean something good. I can't be used if I'm useless. You can't hurt me more than I have been hurt. I'm a warrior.

Useless. Go ahead and call me that. Call me whatever the hell you want. I know what I truly am. I know what I need to do. I need to get out of here, and I plan on doing that with my friends. My family. So go ahead and do your worse Sammy, and Riley. Because you will get a piece of this uselessness when your dead. Trust. Me.

hey guys and gals! I know this update took forever and a day but it's my favorite one so it took forever to make. Yes I know its sad. I ended up crying while making this, but it shows what Rose thinks, and thats important! Thank you for supporting me!