Saving the Mafia Boss (BOOK 2)

CHAPTER 13

Alessandro

Think. That's all that I can do here. Think about what's happening, what could happen and what has happened. I think about the different possibilities if anything in my life up to this point had been different.

What if my mother hadn't died? For some reason my father never loved me but he was still civil. I could have led a semi-normal life. I would have at least one person to love me and I wouldn't have gone through all the pain and torture that was inflicted upon me. Nicholas would still have his parents and he would have been spared the torture as well.

What if my father wasn't even in the Mafia to begin with? Maybe he wouldn't have been such a cruel man. Perhaps, he could have been something normal like a businessman or a lawyer. He could have even helped people instead by being a doctor. If I would have had a normal father not only would I have lived a happier life, but I wouldn't have had to take over as capo. I could have gone to school, chosen a career, partied, have fun, eventually graduated, worked and so forth. I wouldn't be the Alessandro Santos, the Mafia Boss. I would have simply been Alessandro Santos. I would have never had to kill anyone, I wouldn't have to watch my back and live in constant paranoia every second, I wouldn't have people depending on me, I wouldn't have all the pressure I've always had.

What if I had killed Cobra when I got the chance? I shouldn't have waited for as long as I did. I could have been with Amber, happily married and enjoying ourselves in Italy. Maybe going somewhere else. I would take her to the end of the Earth if she wanted me to.

There's only one question I can't seem to find a positive answer to. What if I had never met Amber? Maybe I wouldn't be here right now but he would still be a pain in my ass. He was already a problem for me. If I had never met Amber she would either still be with Dominic or back with her father, she would still be going through the same torture she had gone through all those years before. What if I had met her the day we rescued them but had listened to my initial instinct to ignore her? She would still be caught up in this life because she would have still worked for us. The only problem is she would be much more vulnerable to Cobra's attacks. The truth is without Amber my life would still be miserable, I would still feel empty and I would just continue to fall deeper down the void I was already sinking in. Without her everything would be meaningless and pointless. I don't care what I have to face if it means having her.

In the end everything that has happened in my life has had a reason. As shitty as this exact moment is, I wouldn't have gotten to this point if my life had been any different. If my mother was still alive, my father might have never done what he did. I would have never gotten a chance to meet my best friends Nico and Marcos. If my father had never been a part of the Mafia, I would have never become capo. If that hadn't happened, the Mafia would still be following it's former way of operating. I changed thing for the better, I not only made sure no innocent person is hurt I also have helped rescue so many other people that are being held against their will. I wouldn't have met the family I have today, no Maddox, no Axel, no Vince, no Max, no Mel, no Emily and no Amber. If I wasn't capo then maybe she would still be locked up somewhere and I would have never experienced the love we share. No matter how difficult my life has been I can say I'm happy with what I have now. The past is where it belongs and all that matters are the things I am blessed with now. I would have preferred to not suffer but I can honestly say I wouldn't change anything.

Amber

The moment I get out of the car I feel a lump forming in my throat and my eyes getting ready to tear up. Being in Italy was one thing but being here is just painful. In Italy I missed Ale but it wasn't home, our home.  I try to stay strong in front of everyone else but I can feel my composure crumbling. Before they can notice I excuse myself and rush inside and once my foot crosses the doorway I let the tears stream down. I scan the floor observing everything I can before walking over to the stairs with many memories already flooding my mind. Every step I take makes the pain grow a little more. In Italy I was able to refrain from thinking about the memories we had built, all I thought about was him and his smiles, his voice but never about what we had lived together. Here, it was impossible to not think about it all. I reach the door to his bedroom and pause before opening it. I take in a deep breath, push the door open and as soon as I do the memories hit me hard. I shut the door and take slow steps toward the bed. I sit down on the edge as soon as I reach it and close my eyes. I can almost feel Alessandro holding me as we fall asleep, I can almost feel his soft kisses on my forehead as I wake up and I can almost feel as he put his hands gently on my body before making love. I need you Ale. I need you. ThankfullyI was no longer crying because I heard a knock on the door. I compose myself as best as I can before opening the door, hopefully the slight darkness in the room is enough to hide my red eyes.