Saving the Mafia Boss (BOOK 2)

CHAPTER 18

Amber

"Aaaagh!" I punch the bag with all of my strength.It's never enough. It's as if life decided that I don't deserve to be happy. Ten YEARS! Ten years of unimaginable torture and it isn't enough suffering. No, fate wants me to me miserable. It gives me hope only to rip it away. It taunts me with small doses of happiness contrasted with pain. I've been able to stay strong but with every passing day the feelings of hopelessness and despair grow. Today the weight of everything was simply too much for me. I just felt something inside me break.

I let out another yell as I throw a kick with all my strength. The pain in my body doesn't slow me down. I don't know how long I've been here but the more time I spend assaulting the punching bag, my anger grows. I'm tired of being hopeful and optimistic. I'm tired of being the girl who's strong no matter what life throws at her. I just want to be the girl who gets to be happy.

"AMBER!" I stiffen as I feel two arms around me stopping me from hitting the bag. I drop my arms to my sides while breathing heavily. I close my eyes for a split second imagining that the moment I turn around it'll be Ale but I know very well it'll be Nico. Once he notices I've calmed down he loosens his grip and I turn around to face him. I look up to his eyes, the ones that can never hide what he's feeling from me. He's worried, sad and frustrated. I should be used to it but I still get taken aback by the raw passion in his eyes, a passion for me.

"Amber..." His voice is soft and weak. I take in the rest of him and notice his disheveled appearance. Some blood on his wrinkled clothing, his messy hair and an overall tired look.

"How...What can I do?" I look up at him confused. He groans and turns away while huffing. He paves back and forth. I walk over to stop him. As soon as I place a hand on his arm he stands still.

"I don't know what to do Amber! I don't know how to help you! No matter how normal you've acted I know that you're hurting on the inside. You may not remember dreaming anything but when you're asleep you're always restless. You kick and move around and every once in a while you say his name. I can't protect you from that pain and I can't even physically protect you!" I watch his nostrils flare as his chest rises and lowers harshly with each deep breath.

"Nico. You do more than I could ask for. You do more than you should!"

"But still, here you are making your fists bleed." The burning of my knuckles suddenly registers in my mind. I look down at them and realize that I was so lost in my negativity that I let anger and hate consume me if only for a moment.

"You almost got hurt last night. Alessandro is still probably tied up somewhere. In the end I'm doing as much as I can but I still feel like I'm failing. I'm letting you down and I'm letting Alex down. What scares me the most Amber is that with every day that passes I see your light dimming. You're still incredible and amazing but I think you're starting to lose yourself. When I came in here I didn't recognize who I saw. It was only for a moment but that moment is enough to show that something is wrong. Not to mention the fact that this already happened once before." He's right. Images of my fists making contact with a man's bloodied face invade my mind.

"What more can I do Amber? Please, tell me." I watch him carefully. I think that I'm not the only one having a breakdown.

"Shh. Come." I put my arm around him and guide him down onto the floor with me. I rest his head on my shoulder and hold him, stroking his face.

"Thank you for worrying but I have to tell you something so listen to me and listen good Nicholas. You do everything and more, sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to but that doesn't mean it's because you're doing something wrong. I did almost get hurt but who showed up in time? You. Who stopped it from happening? You. Who kept me safe? You. Maybe you didn't stop him from getting in but we can work on the security issues. As for Alex we already know where to go and what to do, we just need to wait a little more to make sure nothing goes wrong. I know it's frustrating and tiring but we'll get through it. We've both been through worse." He just puts his arms around me and holds me. After a short pause I hear his muffled voice.