Saving the Mafia Boss (BOOK 2)

CHAPTER 26

Nicholas

I open my eyes and take in my surroundings as well as the pain in my neck and back. I try to sit up but I stop when I feel a weight on my shoulder. I turn a little only to see Amber leaning on me and as soon as I do I become aware of her arm strewn across my chest as her delicate fingers cling to my shirt. I should move. I should get up but I can't. I think it's fine to be selfish sometimes as long as I'm not hurting anyone...other than myself that is. I sigh as I rest my cheek on her head while bringing up my arms to circle them around her. From the lack of light coming through the window I conclude it's still nighttime in my dulled state. I close my eyes but my mind isn't ready to rest again.

I reopen my eyes to look at the man laying on the bed in front of us. I feel so guilty for all of this. I could have tried harder, done more. I'm aware of my hypocrisy toward Amber, I preach to her about how the only guilty one is Cobra but I can't take this weight off my chest. Everyone always tells me I'm too hard on myself, that I do so much and still underappreciate my own self. I guess the guilt is my way of dealing with the situation at hand. Even if it's still emotionally painful, I distract myself by analyzing the situation in every way possible trying to find different actions and different outcomes. If I think more about the moment it happened, I don't have to focus on the present or possible future. I analyze the past so I don't have to analyze the possibility of dreadful consequences.

This time it doesn't matter whether I want to think about it or not though because I need to be prepared for the drastic changes that can take place. Even if he wakes up in time, we don't know if there is any permanent damage. Now, if he doesn't wake up in time I have to marry his wife. Although I have given my life for this Mafia I still think most of their rules are pure and utter bullshit. This? Disgusting. I care for her but what about the poor women who have had to endure cruel and unloving husbands in the past? Even now, Amber has the hope of her husband waking up but they want to force her to abandon the idea and give herself to another man. She truly is remarkable though, accepting this and taking it much better than me.

I feel a lump in my throat as I think about the other possibility, Alex simply not waking up. I wouldn't be able to cope with it. Although it had always been a possibility and a very real risk, I never actually contemplated it happening. This is the realest it's ever felt. When he dies I lose my brother, one of the few people to know the real me and one of the two people that have always been there for me. How would I be able to cope with his death and still have to deal with taking his place? I usually help him with everything and I'm always by his side but I can't step up. I don't have it in me to be capo. Of course he would tell me I would be an even better one. I've always shared my fears to him and he would reassure me that I am more than capable to do things.

"But why me? Why would you choose me as your replacement?" Those stupid rules!

"Relax, brother. You know it's only a precaution and we have to follow their rules. But, if it does happen some day you will do even better. Nicholas, I'm impulsive, I can't control my anger, sometimes I'm on the border of wreckless! You on the other hand are capable of thinking before acting! You're the brains, Nico. No one would be better to take my place." Alessandro always has a way of calming me. Even if he is impulsive he is also better than I am at staying calm in more emotional situations.

"Ok, fine. But you're the terrifying one! Alessandro, you ooze power. People take one look at you and think twice before doing or saying anything!" He smirks at my response before answering himself.

"Well, that's why we're a team. Let's just do what we've always done and watch each other's back." I smile and as if we can read one another's minds we speak at the same time.