it cast ↠ preferences | book one

wolfhard; (longer imagine)

I took my earbuds out of my bag and hooked them into my iPod before setting it on a song and stuffing the earbuds in my ears. I rested my head against the cold glass of the car window and sighed. It was our song. Well, it had been our song. Now, it's meaning only held sadness.

I tilted my head back slightly and watched the stars slowly fade past the car window. They were beautiful. The way they lit up the peaceful darkness of the late sky made me want to stare at them for hours. They reminded me of him; so very beautiful, yet fading.

The feeling was like a punch to the stomach... it was the feeling of unclear closure.

Suddenly, I wanted to run to his doorstep and tell him how in love with him I was and how sorry I was for taking advantage of his feelings, but I knew I couldn't.

He probably hated me. If he didn't hate me already, then he probably had forgotten me. That was just the cold truth of it all. All because I tried too hard to push back the butterflies he gave me and how he made me feel like I was on top of the world just by seeing his smile.

I pushed it all back. Why? How could you be so stupid?

My eyelashes fluttered upwards as I rested my cheek against the palm of my hand. I'm sorry, Finn. I'm so fricking sorry... I muttered through barely parted lips. I didn't even understand why I was still making an effort to apologize because he would never hear; he would never hear my regrets and how my heart was still shattering after two years because I still needed him.

I still needed him.

And he was gone.

Fun fact: this was written from a true story, just obviously not with Finn Wolfhard, haha.