When Demons Are Redeemed: The Dominant's Muse

Fifty - Missing Commandments

Note: Emotionally wounded women journey, in the next few chapters.

FIFTY

Missing Commandments

Catherine slowly walks by more women restrained to the long metal bar, in the first aisle of the coatroom. The non-refundables are mere inches away from her, as she passes, but only a few of them register her presence in some way, when a part of her happens to cross their fixed line of sight. Nothing, however, changes in the women’s faces when that occurs, just as nothing changes when Catherine looks directly into their eyes -- into those windows, into those mirrors -- and momentarily understands them.

They’re like a collection, waiting for its owner to pay attention to it and then put it away again, with each piece having no other purpose otherwise. And each item is all sealed up, because all that creative material on each piece is just like any packaging that limits how a collectible can be enjoyed and played with. So, what’s within the wrap can never be free, can never be its true self, because it’s always stuck within that design, because it’s always stuck with that addition to it that’s not a part of it, but that can’t be separated from it either. And oh how that packaging must be respected by everyone . . . Catherine pauses. They’re spaced out so evenly from one another, she adds to herself, as she looks down the row. Indeed as if arranged here, by a serious collector. The richness of the heavy wood, and the intricate carving that adorns it and matches the style of the ceiling’s and of the floor’s art, then once more capture her attention. Such artistry. A pretty display cabinet.

A moment more, and Tristan’s female is soon tempted to look into another woman’s eyes.

“The ten commandments on that train, this weekend, wow. The nerve of the masters,” the woman is therefore heard. Her long, dark brown hair is gathered by her left shoulder and ordered to remain there by creative material “gel” that does not physically have the muscle to back up the command, and that, therefore, relies on cooperation. “Long ago, the men who wrote the Bible commandments must’ve been great men because the only commandments sacred to most men today, as recorded in their laws, are about their money and protecting it, and their ego, power and control reigning, and easy sex being available. But the men back then, they were good and nice, and they knew that it mattered most to keep families together, to keep all men human, and love, alive.

We don’t have that.

Men today hate that women whine about the absence of love, trust and loyalty, and they mock us for our humanity. And then, to women who refuse to just accept being betrayed, men say ‘just get over it. If you break up our kids’ family over what I did, then you’re worse than I am for lying and cheating.’ That’s a blatant falsehood, of course, and cold, but it’s just so very minor for most men, messing up women and children, that they can say and even believe such things. Of course all men, however, don’t accept being lied to.

But a woman can’t forgive her husband, because she can’t live her life from that moment on wondering every day if he’s doing it again. It’s just no way to live, to suffer every day, to have all that anxiety every day, to imagine over and over again those painful images of him with another woman, and to hurt so much because his behaviour revealed to her that she’s not good enough, and that his physical pleasure matters more than anything. And . . . her self-confidence is therefore shot. His manipulation has forever poisoned her soul.

Plus, his cheating is from then on his leverage against her in all things, and he knows it. And he uses it. Often hints at it. So, the only way that she can stay with him is if she accepts being inferior to him, since, every time that she disagrees with him, every time that she stands up for herself, he will threaten her with cheating again, with hurting her again. So, does she dare disagree and stand up for herself, still? No? Then she’s inferior, and a slave, after he took his power and control by hurting her. He might as well have taken that power literally, by hitting her, because an abusive man is an abusive man, and it’s impossible to heal, while he’s still around to renew any kind of wound that he inflicts.