a few days had passed since i had spoken to ed. chemo was getting worse and i could slowly feel myself dying. i didn't know what ed was doing but i could feel us slowly drifting apart. he may not of known it. but i could feel it. so much. i was left alone in my room last night and i tried so hard to talk to him about it but he wouldn't answer and i ended up crying myself to sleep. ed has helped me so much throughout these last few months and i didn't want to lose him. but if he didn't want to be with me, i was fine with that. i know i'm a lot. hell, i have cancer for god's sake. how is a couple supposed to grieve? i had no clue but i missed him. not seeing him all the time was killing me.
my dad always used to tell me nothing lasts forever. maybe it doesn't.
ed and i are supposed to be together forever but what if my forever wasn't long enough for him?
what if it kills him too? i can't let that happen. no. god, please no.
my mother hasn't been visiting as often. she has to work in order to pay for the bills and house. plus food and hospital bills. ed hadn't really talked to me in awhile and my best friend was probably making new friends and forgot about me. my father has no idea where the hell i am nor has a care in the world. and if i'm being completely honest, i don't want to be here anymore. and if cancer doesn't kill me, than love sure will. but who cares?
absolutely no one.
i haven't been in the mood to write at all this week. last night was rough and i'm sure another night will come soon enough. it just sucks not having anyone to rely on. i mean, my boyfriend wants to leave but he won't admit it. but it's okay. i knew he'll find someone better if/when he leaves..have a good weekend everyone. i'm seeing my best friend tomorrow and hopefully my boyfriend the following day..xoxo
YOU ARE READING
kik//ed
Romancewhat happens when ed accidentally messages the wrong kik account and ends up falling for the girl of his dreams? but what if there's a little more to her story than he thinks?
