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Tell me darling,
would you still love me
if I told you
about the monsters
I need to sing to sleep
every night?

If you understood 
the way I need to tiptoe
across my own mind
so I can fall asleep 
before daylight?

If you knew 
where nightmares 
came from, 
if you saw my scarred soul, 
would being with me terrify you?

If you knew the full extent 
of the damage 
they had done to me, 
would you stay,
would you still want to?

~Nikita Gill, 
Questions I am too Broken to Ask 

***

"Who is Cal?"

Atlas's confused words have me looking up to him in sudden realization.

"Don't."

Alpha Brandon looks at me with sad eyes. Sad eyes I thought I had escaped from.

"I'm sorry Lexie. But your mate needs to know."

"Know what?! Damn it what is going on?" Atlas looks at me. I know he doesn't like this feeling. I know he doesn't like feeling like he has no control over the events of his life.

And now everything was crashing.

"Let's sit and talk Alpha Atlas. But first," Alpha Brandon's hard eyes don't back up as he says, "Untie Lexie."

Atlas hesitates.

I can see him calculating.

Can tell he is thinking of fighting them. He knows he will win.

But then I see his eyes fall onto Mark.

And he closes them in silent defeat as he turns back to me and finishes untying the ropes that constrict my skin.

The prison drops away.

The Luna steps forward, glaring at Daisy as she walks around and approaches me.

"I'm sorry Lexie."

I nod silently.

"Sit and I'll explain everything."

"Please don't."

I'm begging now.

Moaning.

Pleading.

"Please don't tell him."

Alpha Brandon sits down, those same sad eyes on me.

"I'm sorry."

That's the only words they can say.

Mark sits next to me. He doesn't touch me. He knows. I don't have to tell him. Instead he leans forward, whispering to me.

"What are you going to paint Lexie?"

I feel Atlas's eyes on me as the room settles down and sits around the table.

Someone must have set it back up while I was asleep.

"I'm going to paint....a bird."

"What kind of bird?"

I close my eyes and concentrate.

"I saw a red one outside the pack house. He was beautiful."

"Tell me Lexie. How are you going to paint it?"

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