forever and always. (Matthew Espinosa)

chapter fifteen

My stomach filled with butterflies as the elevator climbed up to Nash's floor. A ding filled the compact room as I slowly departed. More worriness draped over me as I became closer and closer to his door. What would he say? Was he getting back together with Samantha? Was he done with me? I had been worried about this all day. Yesterday, too. I'd grown so close to Nash over the past two and a half months, I was scared that this would ruin it. But no matter what, I had to be strong in front of him. In front of everyone. I've only cried in front of four people: Eva ,my dad, my old best friend, and Matt. I didn't plan on adding to that list.

I slowly approached his room and hesitantly knocked on the plank of wood seperating me from someone who held the next three or four months in the palms of his hand. My only issue was, would I spend them in depression or in happiness?

Immediately, the boy with piercing blue eyes swung the door open and invited me in. I accepted as he showed me a seat on one of the beds, probably Shawn's. Nash sat across from me, on what I'm guessing was his bed, as I stared at him in agony. 

"Listen," he requested. 

I did as he told, but just continued staring.

 He cleared his throat, but then laughed, "calm down, Kyra!"

I smiled a little, even though I was still flipping out, "I'm fine Nash, really."

He looked at me for a second, "Do you know who Samantha is?"

I nodded, "Aaron and Matthew told me."

He nodded, "Well, at the boardwalk the other day, she told me some big news."

I stared at his shoes, afraid to look him in the eyes. I was scared that instead of sorrow, they'd be gleaming with excitement.  "Which was?" It came out in a mumble.

"Um, she's um, moving to, uh, Virginia. In our town."

The shred of hope I had hidden somewhere inside of me had just completely diminished because of four little words. My heart had sunken completely, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I wanted to say something, but when I opened my mouth, nothing would come out. I had liked Nash since his first big vine, and since then I'd been in love. I didn't think I could love him anymore, but then he told me he liked me. It's like I fell in love with him again, and he kept catching me. Everytime he would talk to me, I just continued to fall in love over again. But this time, it's like he let me fall. Didn't catch me.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. His eyes were filled with not sorrow, not excitement, but guilt. He felt bad for me. I put my best fake smile on to keep him from knowing how I felt.

"Okay."

 His head cocked back in slight disbelief, "okay?" He almost mumbled.

"Okay," I paused as he just stared at me, "it's fine. I don't care."

"Oh, alright."

"I have to go, I promised Matt and Cam I'd go to their movie marathon tonight, is that it?" I felt bad, but he made me feel bad, too.

"No, nah, that's it. Have fun." 

"Thanks," I said as I stood up to leave the room. 

I was half way out the door when I was interuppted by Nash yet again, "Kyra?"

I turned around to see Nash standing next to his bed. I was halfway filled with hope again. Maybe he'd tell me he doesn't like her, maybe he'd say he only wants me. "Are you okay?"

Nope. "Yeah, I'm fine." I tried giving him a reassuring smile.

"Okay, bye Ky."

"Bye." I walked out the door and down the hall towards Matt's room, mentally calming myself down. Slowly, I brought my hand up and hesitantly knocked on the door.

"Hey," Matt slid out the door into the hall and gently closed it, leaving it just a crack open. "How did everything go?"

I shrugged.

"Well," his big, chocolate brown eyes stared at me with concern, "what'd he say?"

I broke eye contact and stared at his Obey tee shirt, "Samantha's moving to Virginia." 

He stood silently for a second, then heaved out a long, deep breath. "Um, are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," I looked him in the eye again, "I don't really care. It's whatever."

"Are you sure Ky?"

"Yeah, of course," I paused as he still gazed at me with concern, "come on, let's go watch the movie." Another fake smile crossed my lips.

He continued to look at me as if he were looking through me to see how I was really feeling, but quickly looked down, "Yeah, sure, come on." He opened the door as I followed him in. 

I came in to find the other boys watchingthe beginning of The Purge, my favorite movie ever. I smiled as I knew that this would get my mind off of things.

I jumped up onto the first bed, where Aaron was laying with an empty spot next to him. 

"Hey, Kyra!" He annouced, pushing himself up a little bit.

I jumped up and pulled my feet from beneath me, landing on my butt, "Hi Aar!" I smiled, already forgetting about my conversation with Nash. "Hey Cameron!" I said after leaning over to see him sitting on the other bed with Matt.

He looked at me and made a disgusted face.

I glared at him, then looked at the other boys to see them smiling. "You know, I try to be nice to him, but all I get is that. Maybe you should just be put up for adoption."

"Maybe you should leave. You know what they say, last in, first out!"

I laughed and told him to shut up so we could watch the movie. 

Eventually, we were fidgiting around, and both Aaron and I ended up with our backs on the wall. As it was getting late, Aaron yawned and threw the classic move on me. He stretched out and put his arm around my shoulder. I knew he was just joking around, so after playfully hitting his ribcage and calling him a dork, I played along and cuddled into him. 

Matthew kept looking over to us making me a little self-concious. Why did he keep looking over here? 

*

ayooo. sorry I haven't updated lately, I've been real busy with tournament softball and school softball and everything. i'm gonna try to update more often but i'm also working on another story about Hayes for you guys, so I've been real busy. There are barely any Hayes fanfics, so I figured I'd make one cause I like him so much. That won't be pumblished for a while, but I just wanted to let you know what was coming up! Have a great day guys!

-Saraaa.