Chapter 33

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I'm really so sorry, it's been months since the last update, college is not easy and the fact I'm already junior, only a year to graduate is getting pretty hectic. My explanations were not valid, but I do hope this chapter could make you forgive me. And please, check my other books as well that will come out soon "Oceans Away" (Trivia: some parts of this book happened in my real life, this is like my diary.) And "Queens Offer" (if you're an avid CaKe fan), have a nice read. I'm sorry again. Comment down there too.

:)

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I was holding Natasha's hand, unaware of what is happening. Although, there's an urge inside of me that keeps me pushing towards her, as much as I wanted to lay my hands next to her skin, I couldn't.

"Natasha?" She was silent, what the heck did I just do?

"Is there something wrong?" She's full of worries in her eyes.

I pretend, averting my palm to my forehead that resting earlier over her hands, acting my head hurts "I'm sorry for inconvenience but I think I'm not feeling well, my head hurts."

She comforted me through holding my shoulders, her eyes were searching for my stares but I'm refusing. "I think I have painkiller here." She started to rummage through her stuffs.

"No, no. I, I just wanna go home, please. I'm really sorry." She helped me fixing myself properly in the seat. Her eyes were fixated of worries. "Please don't worry, it's just this thing." I said calmly, pointing to my stitches.

She slowly nodded, maneuvering the car. I almost slid, almost do it. What the hell is wrong with me? For all I care, I can just drop things and be with Natasha, but I couldn't do it, I love Kate too, I can't hurt her just like that. My feelings is fucking me up, my situation is all screwed up. I look at her in my peripheral view, feeling the guilt hugging me tightly, how cruel I could be?

"I can wait a taxi at the intersection, I'm sorry for this." I tried to speak calmly, it took me so much confidence.

I couldn't speak because how dare I could after just what happened. My head were full of thoughts. It's crazy, how can a single person make you feel so much things. Yet, there comes along another person who can show you more than anything you thought you already knew.

"I don't think I could just drop you anywhere, I'll drive you home." She stared me for a while and I just look at her with so much admiration. She smiled halfly.

I gently nodded, returning her gaze back to the road. I tried to start a conversation "About the make up class." She hummed in response. "I don't know how to deal things in school, but I think it's a good idea."

We reached the village, and my moment with Natasha will be over soon. "You think so?" She replied reluctantly.

Smiling confidently "Yeah!" I squealed, furrowing my brows in excitement. No matter how hard I try to hide those kind of feelings I have for her, my nerves revealing it on its own. "I mean----" looking somewhere else when her eyes starting to focus to me again, waiting for response. I don't have any idea honestly what to say. "I mean since I missed a lot of stuff, so can you help me with that? Don't worry I can pay just like with my sister." I offer.

She chuckled melodically, so lovely "The thing is I'm doing it not because of profit." Knitting my brows as confusion inside me arises, I knew it she want to spend her time with me. I couldn't avoid her, I wanted her, sad but that's the truth. She will always gonna be my part. We reached our destination, pulling me back to reality.

"Thanks, I guess." She nodded, I quickly jutted out of her car.

Directly I walked inside without looking back, trying the best I could ever muster. We all knew that every time my eyes caught her figure, I couldn't keep up. I'm losing things. Front door greeted me, I sighed fully before entering. A tight embrace welcome me, and out of my own control I hugged her tightly as well, you know that kind of hug when you met someone after the long time, it's warming, comforting, and incredibly great. Sniffing the familiar scent that once took my breathe away.

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