Tender (Book 1 - Complete)

Chapter 1 - Lynn

***POV is noted in the chapter title

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It's been five years, one month, and thirteen days since I last spoke to Jamie Gallagher. Now he won't even look at me when we pass each other in the halls. Though, I can't really blame him. I abandoned him first.

We were best friends, once upon a time. It seems so surreal now. Our friendship feels like a dream—a dream I've struggled to pull myself from for nearly a year—that's how long I've been home. And yet, he remains superglued to my thoughts like gum to hair. Like, chopping him from existence might be the only way of getting him out of my head—as morbid as that sounds.

Now I sit here watching him like a creep from the sidelines. It's sad really. Even when he looks at me, he's not actually looking. It's as if he's pushed any memories of us to the very back of his mind, eager to forget the girl he once cared for.

I've gone nearly a full year without any real acknowledgment from Jamie. I don't blame him. When I left without a word, I know that hurt. It's just unfortunate that the little crush I'd started to develop on Jamie in Jr. High never fully vanished. And now that I'm back—seeing him on a daily basis in school—those feelings have flared to life again. The most heartbreaking part about all this isn't so much the fact that Jamie ignores me, but rather, that he seems to legitimately despise me.

It's fine that he holds a grudge, but 'holding' implies that it can be let go. The anger Jamie has for me is more like a growth. It's a part of him; a disease that has manifested itself to him like a leech as it sucks any and all hope for forgiveness from his body.

My first day back, I remember the knot of nerves and excitement that bubbled together in my stomach. I had a few friends who still remembered me, but the only one I really cared about was Jamie. I remember how my eyes had searched the halls as I'd made my way to my new locker, and the moment I'd spotted him, my world had exploded. He was no little boy, that's for sure. Lean arms had replaced arms that once resembled noodles, his round child-like face had been sculpted into lines of maturity—baby fat no longer an issue—and his shaggy mop of hair had been styled to perfection.

I'd watched him goofing off with his friends, anxious for him to catch my eye. But when he did, I was not expecting the cold, lifeless look that he returned. He watched me for a moment, the initial shock when he'd first spotted me fading within milliseconds, only to be replaced with pure malice.

He hated my guts.

Now that I've been back for most of the school year, I've strengthened the relationships with two of my old friends—though Jamie isn't one of them. Rather than return to how things once were, I now have to watch him from a distance. My heart aches for more, but his eyes warn me to steer clear... and while everything in my nature tells me to ignore his warnings, I don't.

Jamie and his four good friends share a strong bond melded together by the fact that they all crave adventure. I'm not just talking road trips and visiting the hidden treasures of the world. I'm sure they'd still enjoy that, but what they really desire is that cliff jumping, mountain climbing, risk your life by being stupid kind of adventure.

So, for Jamie to ever take notice of me: the safe, Asian girl who does her best in school and has a simple dream to be a veterinarian, then I'm probably not the thrill he's looking for. But, fortunately for me, I'm a dreamer. I catch a glimpse of a possibility and my mind explodes, ideas breeding off of each other. It's who I've always been. Nothing is unachievable when you allow your mind to dream big enough... that's what I believe anyway. So, here I sit, dreams flourishing from my mind like a pack of rabbits. Soon, ideas will start leaking out my ears and then there will be no choice but to take action.