Tender (Book 1 - Complete)

Chapter 11 - Lynn

The atmosphere at Galena High feels thick. News has traveled quickly about Jamie's accident and it's hit the entire student body like a bucket of ice-water from hell. The halls feel cold—stale. A hum of chatter vibrates through the endless corridors like the scuttling of rats trapped in the walls of a home. Muted whispers tickle the air with their harsh disrespect for the horror that took place not even three days ago ago.

All I want is silence. Total and complete silence. But there will always be those people who lack common decency. They care for nothing but their own happiness. Compassion is a foreign concept, and even if they were given the opportunity to learn it, they'd reject it. Selfish is what they are.

I used to be one of them.

I spot a boy goofing off with his buddy and I pass them with a scowl on my face. How can they be so insensitive? Do they not feel it? The sadness hovering over the school? Or am I just exceptionally aware of it?

It seems I've been sucked far deeper into the emotional side of this circumstance than I was ever prepared for. If I'd just never found the courage to approach Jamie the other day and spark up a conversation, then I'd probably be just like everyone else. I'd shoot pitying eyes towards Jamie's friends, and then I'd escape back to the safety of my own friends. Now, I just feel like I'm a joke. But then I realize that's a joke. There's no way I could have ever not been affected by this. Because, whether Jamie accepts me or not, he's my friend and knowing that a friend is suffering would rattle any normal person.

I abandoned him first. So, in a way, I feel as though I don't have the right to feel such sinking remorse over what's happened. I don't have a right to care as much as I do. And yet, tears still seem to be lingering just on the verge of betraying me.

As I glide through the halls on the way to my first-period class, I spot a familiar blonde-headed girl. Each muscle in my body is urging me to continue forward, to ignore what my gut is screaming at me to do. But I can't. Not when I see the melancholy pulling at the girl's face.

I take a deep breath, preparing myself to be rejected. People who are hurting tend to find satisfaction in hurting others, so I'm ready for her to lash out at me. I sidestep around a bulky guy and dodge a flock of freshman girls before reaching Clarice. She's got her back to me now as she digs through her locker. With hesitant fingers, I reach for her, tapping her gently on the shoulder.

She stills, her muscles rigid as she slowly turns to face me. If I thought she looked broken from a distance, then up close is far worse. It's as if her entire world was painted within her features, and now that world has been crushed. Her eyes hide nothing. The pain she suffers is evident in each make-up free line of her face.

"Hi." My voice leaves my lips in a timid whisper.

She just stares at me, curiosity joining the wreckage of emotions on her face.

"I uh... I just wanted to say—" I stop, feeling silly for thinking that this would be helpful to her in any way. But then I glance up and note the look of need on her face. She's hungry for this. As much as it hurts, it seems she needs people to recognize her pain. Since she hasn't rejected me yet, I let the words leave my lips. "What happened really sucks, and I'm so sorry. If you need anything at all please let—"

She doesn't let me finish because in that moment any strength she was using to contain her sorrow, breaks. Next thing I know, I'm in her embrace, her arms holding me to her with such urgency that I'm motionless for a moment. And then I relax, letting my arms wrap around her as she weeps on my shoulder.

I had not prepared myself for this, but I push my own discomfort to the side. Clarice needs this, and somehow her tears seem to be giving me strength as I shove my own sadness to the back of my mind.