Tender (Book 1 - Complete)

Chapter 18 - Lynn

I don't hear a peep from Jamie for days. I can tell he's avoiding me and to say it doesn't affect me in any way would be a gargantuan lie. My words seemed to hit a brick wall. He wasn't interested in my help before, and he certainly isn't interested now. It's very possible that I've just made things worse, but I can't help it. I've got a burning need to do something, and my swirling thoughts and achy heart won't allow me to just let it go.

Jamie isn't in school on Wednesday, but I don't bother asking his friends where he is. I'm not that needy. Truthfully, I don't really care where he is. My intentions are not to smother him—though it might be too late for that—they're to be there for him. So, I decide to push him to the furthest corners of my mind.

The rest of the week goes by slowly, and I spot Jamie here and there on Thursday and Friday but never make any attempt to speak with him. At this point, I'm not sure who's avoiding who. Somehow we just naturally gravitate away from each other, and it seems to be very intentional for the both of us. I'm worried about him, but that doesn't give me the right to follow him around like a babysitter in case something goes wrong. So instead, I let him go.

It's not until the following week that things start to change. I notice him sitting alone during lunch that Wednesday afternoon. His friends are either all conveniently absent, or they ditched him. I can't decide which is worse.

The fact that he looks so torn up and lonely is what has my sympathetic heart urging me towards him. I know this is basically suicide. He's going to destroy me the moment he looks up and finds me hovering over him with sad eyes. I might even make everything worse, but I have to try. It's in my nature to want to help the hurting. Maybe that's my gift. I wasn't blessed with a talent for singing, or dancing, or acting, but my heart knows when another heart is in need.

I try to wipe the pity off my face and instead replace it with a smile. I refuse to let him know I feel bad for him.

"Where are your friends?" I inquire, sliding into a chair across from him.

He looks startled by the sudden disruption for a moment, and then a scowl falls into place.

"Why do you care?" he says, his voice distant and uninterested.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

I just smile, realizing that neither one of us has bothered to answer a single question, and there's no way I'm going to be the first.

"Can't I just talk to you without you being suspicious of my intentions?"

"Um, no," he says decidedly. "I thought I was pretty clear about my feelings towards you. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Maybe I don't want to," I answer.

He shoves a cheese puff into his mouth, not bothering to look at me or even acknowledge my question as he chews.

"You're annoying."

Something about the way he mutters this has a smile turning my lips upwards.

"Listen, Jamie Gallagher, I'm going to be embarrassingly honest with you for a minute." I clear my throat, encouraging my heart to relax as I prepare my mind on how to word this. I'd told Justine and Rosa that I'd make it clear to Jamie that I wasn't after him out of a lovesick infatuation, but I never told them that I wasn't going to be entirely honest.

Jamie glances up and I know he's just a smidgen curious to know what I've got to say.

"I'm not trying to be a creep," I say. "I'm not trying to annoy you or make you angry, and I'm definitely not trying to make you hate me."