Falling Slowly | Luke Hemmings

nine

I pull up into the parking lot about a few minutes before the first bell rang for school. I found a parking spot closer to the front than usual. I was surprisingly tired, well probably because I didn't sleep for half the night. Many things still swirling around in my mind about everything that is going on. Once I stepped in foot of Luke's old house, I realized that nobody at all was living there. It seemed to be almost abandoned. I didn't see one piece of furniture or anything. The inside of the house seemed to have been worned down a bit, spider webs hanging in the corners of the walls, chipped paint, and dust covering the wood flooring. I didn't actually go walk inside of the house, once I saw that it was empty, I turned right around and headed back home. I coudln't stand there, in the same pathway that I have walked down millions of times before, still imagining all the memories that float back in forth through my head. I jogged back home, and just tried to forget about everything just for that night. I did actually sleep quite nice when I finally fell asleep, which was only probably for a couple hours.

I snap back into reality as I walk further into my school and to my locker. I really didn't want to be at school today just really because I didn't want to see anyone. I really didn't want to see Tanner and have him comfront me about leaving him yesterday, and about all the ignored phone calls. I haven't even talked to Ava much recently. I haven't filled her in on anything that has even happened recently over the past week. I have never even told Ava about Luke, and she was the person I had told everything to. She was gone that whole summer, like she is every year so I just never filled her in on anything that had happened because Luke and I didn't last anyway. Luke is just a memory from my past that I had always hoped that would come back into my life somehow. To think of it now, I never even actually told anyone about Luke and I's relationship besides my parents because I would practically spend every moment I could with him. Yeah of course I had friends, but once the school year was over and I met Luke, I didn't keep much in contact with them because that wasn't important to me at the time. I still do talk to them sometimes, I'm just not as close with them anymore. 

Thankfully, Tanner had not been waiting for me at my locker this morning like he usually does, and I hopefully won't see him for the rest of the day. I knew that Tanner would probably be waiting for me after second period because we usually go to lunch, so i'll probably have to talk to him today eventually. I didn't really want to avoid him, just wanted to avoid all the question he has for me. I know I left him in a hurry, so he is probably confused as ever. The bell for first period has now rung, and all the slamming of lockers, students yelling, and heels being tapped against the floor ring through my ears as I make my way all the way across school to my first period class. 

- 

I finally make it back to school after going home for a while for lunch.I thankfully didn't have to stop by my locker after second period, so I didn't have to have a run in with Tanner. Since I have a free period after lunch, I decided that I would just stay at home for a while, and come back towards the end of the period. I walk through the empty halls and make my way to the library where I usually go and sit during my study hall. I walk down a few more steps until I am finally the doors to enter the library. I open the doors to see few students studying, and working on last minute homework. I walk in, my head looking around to see if there is anyone that I know, but it doesn't look like there is. I still had about an hour left until my next period, so I pulled out my books to try and get started on my homework. 

I found myself getting distracted everytime I would try and start my doing work. I would find myself staring out the window, or doodling on the sides of my papers. I finally decided that I should just give up on trying to work, and just sit around doing nothing until my next class begins. I pull out my phone from my pocket, and sit there scrolling through random stuff until I hear the library door slam shut. I look up and around from my phone and turn my body to face the door. 

I see a boy walk in wearing all black, head down, heading straight for one of the tables. I watch him walk over to the farthest table in the back of the room. I look back down and gather up all my belongs in my bag, so I'll be ready to leave for my next period. I look back up at him, and of course, it's the last person that I would want to see today. Well, honestly I do want to see him more than anything, but I am just telling myself the opposite. 

It was Luke. 

He wore all black, a black hoodie wear his hair perfectly spiked up in the front, and ripped skinny jeans like he always had used to wear. He didn't look up at all from the table, he had his earphones in, leaning back in his chair looking at his phone. At this point, I was confused on what was happening. I had no idea he went to this school, I would have thought I would have seen him by now if he actually went here. Well what am I saying? He obviously does go here. I stayed sitting at my table near the exit doors, as I thought of what I should do. He probably hasn't even bothered about thinking about me the way I have been thinking about him. I stay seating for a minute, thinking whether I should go up to him, or just not even bother with it. 

I have been thinking about him non stop and now I am debating whether I should go up to him or not. Of course I have to go up to him, what am I thinking? I get up out of my chair, grab my bag, and slowly start to walk over to where he is sitting. 

"Luke," I say, as I take a step closer to his table. I stand there, waiting for him to look up at me from his phone. I don't think he heard me, so I decided to take a risk and just sit down next to him. 

He looked up from his phone and saw me trying to sit down. He gave me a confused look, wondering what I was doing. His eyes finally widened, probably now recognizing that it was me. 

"Scarlet, what are you doing here?' He asks, getting his binders together like he was getting ready to get up and leave.

"I should be asking you the same thing." I answered back, hoping he would talk to me and give me some answers. He looks at me for a moment, his blue eyes that haven't changed at all.  looking at me, then around the rest of the library. 

"I-I have to go," He says while standing up, pushing in his chair and walking away. 

"Wait!" I say, being interupted by the bell for next class. By the time I started to walk out to find him, he was already out the door, walking to i assume was his next class.

I give up, knowing that he obviously doesn't want to talk to me, or have anything to do with me. I knew that things were going to end up this way, I just had to try and talk to him. I walk out of the library, and walk to the other side of campus for my last class of the day. 

I walk in to class as the classroom just as it is just starting to fill up. I start to walk to my normal seat in the front of the classroom, to see Luke looking down scribbling a bunch of writing down before class starts. I stop in my tracks and think how I didn't notice that he was in this class before. 

I start to walk down the row to the back of the classroom towards Luke, as he looks up at me only to roll his eyes, and look back down to his paper.