eleven

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Confusion.

That's the only thing that I have been feeling for the past couple weeks. I haven't talked to Tanner since that night he dropped me back off at work again which was about two weeks ago. The weird thing is that it isn't just me avoiding him, but the feeling is mutual. I don't know what he is feeling about this situaution, but that didn't really matter to me. In all honestly, I was happy that we had this little time apart because it let us focus on other things that were happening in our lives besides each other. I haven't seen him around school, well I don't even know if he has actually been going to school. 

The weeks have been going by much easier for me now. I am well organized in all my classes, and they're going great. I spend my free periods still sitting in the library working on whatever I had to do because I never did have any other time. Half the time I was focused on Luke across the room, and dying to just go up and talk to him. As much as I want to go and talk to him, I know he will just keep ignoring me like he has been. Yeah, I've still been trying to talk to him in class, but all he does his either shrugs or just nods. I can tell he is pretty good with this all this math stuff, because he always rushes through all of his work, meanwhile I have no idea what the hell is going on. 

It was Wednesday now, and I've been sitting in calculus which is thankfully my last period of the day.  There was about thirty minutes left of class, and we were left with just homework to do. The classroom was quite noisy due to the fact that no one wanted to sit around and do homework. I sat at my desk that is positioned in the back of the room, tapping my pencil on the table, getting more and more anxious for school to be over with. I look over at Luke who was scribbling all over his paper, knowing exactly what to do. 

"Luke?" I asked, and turning to face him. He sat in the seat right next to me because we now have assigned seats, so he couldn't try to move when I would try to sit next to him. He didn't answer, so I said his name a little louder, tapping him on the shoulder with my pencil. 

"Luke, can you please help me out with this problem? I don't get it at all," I said frustrated, waiting for an answer. 

"It's in the notes we just took," Luke said, rolling his eyes and holding up the piece of paper that had the problem on it.

"Oh okay, thanks," I say, give him a small smile and get back to my work. 

-

The last minutes of class slowly went by until the final bell of the day rang, and everyone scurried out of the classroom. I slung my bag over my shoulder, and adjusted my books in my hands, and headed out of the classroom. I walked out of the door to try and spot Luke in the massive crowd of people, so I  could go try and talk to him one last time. Thankfully, I spotted him at the end of the hallway rushing through the mass of people. 

"Hey Luke, wait up!" I shout, shoving through all sorts of people trying to get closer to him. I know he heard me because I saw his body tense up to the sound of my voice as he lifted his face over his shoulder a little, but didn't fully turn around. 

"Luke," I said as I finally caught up to him. I tugged on his shoulder, so he could turn around to face me.

"What?" He snapped, turning around to face me. He stood a couple feet above me, as I looked him up in his eyes. He has gotten much taller than the last time I saw him. I used to be almost as tall as him, but now I'm a lot more shorter than him. 

"I just wanted to talk," I say in all honestly. I wanted to talk to him, and see what has been going on in his life, and how it has been since he left. I didn't want to talk about relationships if that was he was thinking, not at all. Maybe that's why he is so hesitant? I just want to talk to him as a friend, and just  know how he was doing. 

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