DIFFERENT [hs] |Complete|

Eight

His lips were cold against mine and tasted of crisp wine. I felt his tongue rolled over my lips, almost as if he was asking for permission or just because he wanted to savour the taste of my recent berry quencher. There was a little part of me which wanted to kiss him back, to kiss him hard and push him against the wall and run my hands through his hair and give it the "freshly fucked" look, but the bigger part of me knew it was a mistake. A big one at that. 

"Harry," I whispered against his lips, barely being heard. He either chose to ignore it or didn't hear me so I pushed him away. He slightly stumbled but regained his balance. "I- That was so—"

"Wrong." He replied, finishing off my sentence. His lips were the colour of his cheeks, bright yet a shady red; almost cherry like and swollen. The kiss was anything but gentle, it felt needed and desperate but that was all it was. "I... We- I shouldn't have done that. I apologise." 

"Yeah, me too. But," I sighed loudly and shut my eyes, "why did you kiss me?"

He was silent. I opened my eyes and saw him staring at the ceiling, "You piss me off so much. I'm sure you know that," he laughed softly. "But I honestly thought you were going to use up all your words in your thesaurus and I had to do something because that would've been such a catastrophe." Within all the awkwardness, he always brought humour in situations like this. One of the many perks of Harry Styles.

"Not really explaining it, Harry." 

"I don't know why I did it, all I know is that I did and I can't magically go back in time and stop myself. That's physically impossible. Just... I regret it, okay?" He shrugged. 

We stood there, just avoiding eye contact and pondering on what I should say next. "I better go. It's been a night."

"Yeah, yeah it has." He replied almost too quickly. 

"Bye, Harry." I quickly walked away to the exit of the staircase, almost fleeing away from him.

*-*-*

Harry.

"We've got the meeting today, for the... thing." Niall patted my shoulder, raising his brow to emphasise his point.

"Yeah I get it Niall. I'm not an idiot." I snapped, and wished I hadn't.

"8pm sharp. At the Nemora, got it?" 

I nodded and turned away, getting into my car and heading home.

What the hell is wrong with me. Why the hell did I kiss her? 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid Harry. Get your shit together.

I can't think about her, especially at the meet. They'll know something's up, they'll know everything. And we'll be in deep shit. John is already suspicious and Zayn doesn't like the way things are going. I'm screwing up everything. Screwing up the whole plan. 

Nothing is at my side. Especially time. Time is what I dread, what'll happen in 4 months, I don't know and I want to keep it that way. Each day passes by so quickly that I can't even keep up. In 4 months I will be ruined, everything around me will be ruined. Some people say it's an honour, something to appreciate because we're the "lucky" ones. There's nothing lucky about this.

I want to live a normal life but I can't have that because I am who I am. I can't escape that. This is my reality, and I've been taught to deal with it but I'm a realist who wants to avoid everything. I want to run, but they'll find me. I want to hide, but there's no point. They're everywhere watching my every move and as time nears they have to be more secure. 

I'm known as Styles' boy. My father, a cold blooded disgrace of a human. He has no boundary, he got whatever he wanted, whether it was power, assurance, money, anything! He would get it.