DIFFERENT [hs] |Complete|

Twenty

Harry.

2 months to go, 2 months to go, I repeat in my mind. Most people would say this is a gift, an amazing opportunity then they would go ahead and call me selfish. At the end of the day somebody would end up going home with a blood nose.

Surprisingly it had been quiet, no unsuspecting murders, Dave hasn't made any appearances. And it's bloody nerve wracking. Being unaware of what lies ahead makes me nervous. I've been pulling my hair out, constantly just walking around doing absolutely nothing. Sleep has become a chore, I dread to fall asleep as my dreams continue to haunt me.

Even when I am unconscious my mind seems to wonder to the inevitable. It terrifies me.

The day John came back from dealing his 'situation', I immediately asked for a leave. It's been maybe two, three weeks since I've been to work. Been about two weeks since I've shaven, five days since I've showered, an entire month since I've been eaten regularly. My life has taken a turn for the worst, and it's only going to go downhill from here. I don't know what it is about me that makes me so afraid, maybe I'm afraid of the unknown, the pain and terror I will have to endure. The leadership role I have to take on.

"Shit," I mutter, slumping even further into my couch. I haven't left my apartment in weeks. Last week I had taken closure in my bedroom, refusing to move from my bed unless it was to get some food or go to the bathroom. So actually being out of my room is what I would call a minor improvement.

The boys would come over on every occasion. Liam was my most recent visitor, filling me on what I've been missing out during my absence from the office. Then reminding me that I look like absolute pig shit. They only had one aim when they visited, and that was to get me out of the confinement that is now my apartment.

Cass hasn't called me, nor has she visited.

Good.

That's exactly what you wanted her to do.

To stay away.

To be safe.

I'm doing her a favour, I kept reminding myself. That seems to be the only reason I have to distance myself from her. And as each day passes by that reason becomes more invalid, so I succumb to creating new excuses.

She hates you.

You don't even like her, in that way at least.

She can do so much better than a lowlife bum like you.

She deserves a human, not some witch-were four legged beast with teeth as sharp as knives.

It's to keep her away from Dave, from the Elders.

She will die if I get too close.

It's scary to think that I've been trying to convince myself, and slowly it seems to be working, but it's not enough. It was enough remembering Nina. Slaughtered by a cold-hearted murderer. And for what? Amusement.

To cause havoc. To create fear.

She was a kind person, never involved in anything bad. But she was hardly adventurous, and that was what seemed to make her boring. Nina never liked change, everything was scheduled to her. Certain time, certain place, certain task or action.

But now she was gone, and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Harry!" A muffled voice shouted, followed by a loud pounding on my front door. "Harry, open the bloody door!"

I sighed and forcefully carried my feet until I was only centimetres away from the person opposite of me. The knocking continued, turning into slams and kicks when I didn't open up. I felt fatigued, dizzy, and completely out of the zone.