The Son of a Preacher

Chapter twenty-one: Losing one's self

Lucas, 1986, Huntsville, Alabama 

It's been a week, since I proclaimed Caleb as my best friend again. It was Friday and we were supposed to hang out tonight. Our relationship only got stronger, his girlfriend didn't like this. Caleb didn't care though, he said as soon as we graduate, it's over between them. I'll probably wait until then, to make anything official between us. I wanted a relationship with just us and no one else involved. I tried to talk to Greg but he just avoids me, again. He's the one who fucked up this time, not me. So I don't see why I'm the one being avoided but whatever. I'm done trying to fight for a friendship, with someone who won't put forth the same effort. I'm about to run to my next class,when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I guess, thinking about the ass hole, must have magically brought him here. Greg stands there, fidgeting nervously. The piss head, won't even look me in the eyes. 

" Uh, hi Lucas." He says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. 

" What do you want Greg?" I ask annoyed. 

" I just wanted to talk somewhere." He says pleadingly. 

" I can't right now, I have to get to class." I say gesturing towards my class.

" Well, maybe after school?" He asks hopefully.

" I don't know,last time you wanted to talk, you tried to force me to stop being friends with Caleb." I say honestly just exhausted of this situation. 

" I know, but this time it's not about that." He looks at me ,with those big eyes and I can't help it.

" Fine but at any mention of Caleb, I'm gone." I cross my arms stubbornly. 

"Thank you!" He exclaims, almost going to hug me but stopping himself.

" Yeah, whatever." I roll my eyes but I'm secretly happy. Maybe, now we'll be able to patch things up. 

" Meet me behind the bleachers." He whispers in my ear before walking away. 

I raise an eyebrow at this but then I just shake my head. I head to my class, sitting down already with impatience. I try to pay attention in class but it's hard. I keep thinking, about what he wants to talk about. If it's not about Caleb, then what could it be about? I'm lost in thought for all of my classes, my attention span is already short enough. Greg wanted to meet behind the bleachers, what could be so important? That he couldn't wait to talk to me about it elsewhere. The last bell finally rang and instead of running down to find Caleb. To tell him where I was going. I instead went straight to bleachers. To impatient, to wait a few seconds to tell Caleb something important. 

I make my way behind the bleachers, looking around to make sure no one is around. I wait for Greg, who must still be making his way out of class. I feel my impatience growing and just before it reaches it peak. I spot him, making his way across the field. He comes over and pulls me fully behind the bleachers. We sit there for a few minutes before I decide to speak.

" What's so important, that you had to meet me here?" I ask.

" Lucas, there's been something I wanted to tell you for a long time." He whispers his voice shaking. 

" What is it?" I ask. Once again growing impatient. 

"I don't know if I can do this." He whispers shakily.

" Come on Greg, just tell me." I beg.

When he doesn't say anything, I start to leave. Before I can though, I feel him grab me. He turns me around to face him, his hands gripping the front of  my shirt.

" Do you really want to know?"He asks.

" Please." I beg again. 

" I love you,Lucas." He whispers scared.

Before I can say anything, he smashes his lips against mine. I sit there in shock, as he kisses me. I don't kiss him back , just try to process what he said. I knew he liked me but I didn't know it progressed to love. It's hard to believe that one person loves me, let alone two. His lips are nice but they don't spark any feelings from me. My eyes are wide open, as I try to process this situation.  That's when I spot them. Micheal and his friends. Shit, I forgot that he visited on weekends. I knew then what I had to do. I pushed myself on Greg kissing him back. Then I proceeded to throw myself back, trying to make it look like Greg pushed me off. Greg's eyes widened as I did that. But they almost flew out of his head, when he saw Micheal and his smirking friends. He looked at me and that's when he realized, why I had done what I did.

" I'm sorry Greg, I'm a homo please forgive me!" I exclaim, acting like I don't notice them watching us. 

I notice he's about to say something, but I put my hand over his mouth before he can.

" Please don't beat me up, I know you hate guys like me." I fake cry. 

" Well,why doesn't this surprise me." Micheal smirks making his way over with Caleb's old crew.

" I always knew, there was something wrong with him." Jack says grinning like a shark making me shiver in fear.

" It's sick, a homo such as yourself forcing your way on Greg." Micheal says walking slowly towards me. 

Greg just stands there frozen with fear. Not believing the situation we're in. 

" I'm sorry Greg, please don't beat me up!" I beg in fear only this time the fear is real. Micheal won't just beat me up, he'll kill me. 

" Someone as sick as you, needs to be taught a lesson!" He says rallying the other boys behind him. 

They all cheer yeah, and start to walk towards me. One even pulls out a knife, making me go stone cold. Before they can get any closer, I take off in a run. I run as fast I can, in fear of my life. I only look behind me once to see if any of them are behind me. I see a few trying to chase me down, but being too slow. They all start to give up. I'm just glad, Greg's safe. I know I could of played that off in my favor but I couldn't do that to Greg. He has more of a future than I ever would. He's someone who deserves to live. I'm not going to do anything special with my life, not like him. He has a foot ball scholar ship to play at Alabama. 

I run my way to the club and see Caleb isn't there. Crap,I forgot about him. He probably got tired of waiting for me and went home. I can't let Micheal and his friends find out about us. I can't put him in danger. I make my up the club house ladder, breathing hard. Everything is fucked now. Caleb's father definitely won't let me be near him anymore. I'll lose my job and no one will give me another job. So basically I have nothing worth doing for anymore. At least before, I could give my family financial support. Now though, I had nothing to do for them anymore. I would just be a hindrance to them. I crawled up into the club house, crying in fear. Scared of what would happen to me, knowing eventually that someone would find me.Knowing how truly and utterly how useless I was. I cried and cried until I finally fell into a fit full sleep. Dreaming terrifying dreams of Caleb getting hurt because of my fuck up.