Your Love Is My Medicine

17

Jahseh

I was mad. She was treating me like I didn't care about her. She knows good and damn well that I do. I mean I think I do? This loving shit got my mind all messed up. I need a nightout wit my boys, that will help. I call Symere(Lil Uzi Vert), Michael(Trippie Redd), Isaiah(wifisfuneral), Stokeley, and Shayaa(21 Savage). We all go to a club.

You know it's finna be lit. We arrive and Trip and Savage being scary cause of Ayleks and Amber. So they jus drinking and chilling. So is Stoke. I don't know why and I hope it is not because of Auhlia.

"Aye, Vro why you sitting down you see these girls right here?" Is at pointing to these girls dancing on wifi. "Yeah, I jus don't want to" he says. "Is this because of Auhlia?" I ask. He shrugs. "Look we here to party and let loose so...fuck Auhlia" I say. A lump forms in my throat. My lungs started to gasp for more and more air that I was all of a sudden craving. My heart started to be the only thing I could hear. I can't believe I just said that. I loved Auhlia I was just mad at the moment right? His eyes go wide. He stands up and dusts off his pants. "Where you going?" I ask confused. "I'm leaving" he say. And with that he walks out.

I shrug and wave for a girl to come over here. She comes and dances on me. I see a bright flash and see Symere putting me on Insta. The girl smiles and so do I flashing my grill. A couple more minutes later, I remember Auhlia follow him. Oh shit.

Auhlia

I look at the notification that popped up on my phone.

New post from @liluzivert

I want to look at it but my gut says no. Something says don't so I lock my phone. Shortly after I get a call from Sidney. "LOOK AT LIL UZI'S POST NOW!" she yells. And with that she hangs up. I see some girl on Jahseh. My blood boils is he kidding me? I am glad Stokeley isn't there. I call Jahseh knowing good and well he wasn't going to answer. It goes straight to voice mail. I sigh and hang up. We have been through so much. I don't......even know what to say bruh.

I wish I never found out, I wish he never came back, I wish he wasn't in my life. My life was going good for me. Pretty bland, but at least no heartbreak. Then god tried to sprinkle a lil Jahseh seasoning on my life aka the main course, and the whole damn top fell of and now....DRAMA OVERLOAD. I finally admitted to myself that I loved him. If Stokeley did this, I mean I would be mad. But now that Jahseh has done this, I realize all I have is regret.

I leave him the longest message ever. (Yall this shit go hard not to brag)

We have come so far my nigga and you threw all of it away.

And you lied to me talkin bout next to me you stay.

If only I knew what was gon happen behind that smile you smiled.

I would have walked away before a second turned to a while.

I can't help myself, I will admit its that it's true

I love you and I really thought you did too.

Nah fams, I'm not mad

Cause you can't miss what you never ever had

Yeah it's I hate you, I miss you, I love you, Repeat

We couldn't even get that far for that to happen to me.

I thought I had a special place right there in your heart,

but it wasn't even there to start

And I know I am getting ahead of myself

Lemme slow down

And I know I shouldn't have listened to myself

But I know now

And those mistakes that I jus made

I learned from em

And now jus sit back and watch the tables turn on em

Sorry for sending you this whole rap paragraph jus trying show you what I mean. Jahseh, I love you. When I found out you gotta understand, it was so fucking overwhelming. I told you my family shit and you over here talking about hoes? Then you gon go all out and post it, right? Well it's ok. I don't hate you, just regret even loving you...

I lock my phone and start to cry. At least he knows that I felt some typa way...

YALL THIS WAS SO SAD BUT DOPE AT THE SAME TIME!