So You're Trapped in an Alternate Universe?

Richpez - College AU 2009

"We can't keep doing this." I said with a sigh, pressing my forehead against hers.

"I know."

"Then why do we?"

"I don't know."

We laid in silence for a few more minutes. We've been playing this game for weeks now. Lauren would come to my room, we'd have sex, we would promise it would never happen again afterwards, she'd fall asleep in my arms, she'd cook us pancakes in the morning, and then we'd act like nothing happened.

I don't know if any of our friends knew what was going on besides Brian and maybe Julia because let's face it, Lauren and I both knew that we told our best friends you don't keep stuff like this a secret. I was hoping they wouldn't catch on or find out though. It was only supposed to be a one time thing when we were pretty drunk but it was like Lauren was a drug or something and I had to keep going back for me.

I don't know if she was doing it because she was sad about her break up with Darren, or if she was just lonely, but she was usually the one who initiated it.

"What happened to it being a "one time thing"?" I asked her after the twelfth time we slept together.

"I don't know." She said. "If you don't want to anymore it's okay."

"It's not that... I just worry about you."

She smiled and kissed me. "Joey Richter."

Thirteen times.

The end of the year was quickly approaching, and things didn't stop happening. It's been 2 months, and I've probably had sex with Lauren more than I had with girls that I was actually in a relationship with. I felt bad. Lauren deserved better, and I still wasn't sure why she was so intent on me.

"You're graduating soon." I said one night when we couldn't fall asleep.

Duh. She fucking knew she was about to graduate she's not an idiot.

"Meredith asked me if we were dating today." She said back

"What?"

"If she asked it's because other people think so too and it's Meredith so she asked because she's the only one who seems to know how to do things without hurting everyone's feelings."

"What did you tell her."

"I told her it was complicated."

"Oh."

"Am I wrong?"

"You're not."

"Okay."

"Okay."

I didn't really know where this put us. Of fucking course I would absolutely love to be with Lauren, but I wasn't exactly sure what she was wanting still. We basically acted like a couple, and as far as I know unless Brian or Julia told someone, no one knew we were having sex. I'm not surprised that anyone was suspicious, really. We spent a lot of time together, but Lauren was way out of my league, I would never think someone like her was with someone like me.

It was a week until almost all of my friends graduated, and I didn't know how to feel. I spent almost every night running my fingers through Lauren's short blonde bob of hair and thinking even if I wasn't with her, I got to be intimate with her. It's not like we weren't practically together anyway. What was I going to do without her and so many of my other friends these next few years? It was gonna hurt but I knew I'd still be friends with all of them. I was the baby of the group and too many of them are too protective of me to never talk to me after they graduate.

"What's going on between you and Lauren?" Darren asked me one day when we were out for lunch.

I just shrugged my shoulders and told him that I was just helping her out, she was going through a lot right now. I wasn't exactly lying but I wasn't telling the truth either. Darren was my best friend but I couldn't tell him I'd been seeing Lauren the way I knew he once had, maybe more if we're being honest. I didn't want him mad at me, and I didn't want to cause more tension between him and Lauren, so I kept my mouth shut to him.

"I love you so much, Joey." Lauren said to me, with tears streaming down her face and sobs racking her body one night when she thought I had gone to sleep.

"Wait. What?!" I said back sitting up quickly to look at her.

She jumped up and instantly pulled away from me.

"I'm sorry." She said, before running out of my room and down the steps.

I followed her to the front door but by the time I got there she was already running down the street, with Julia chasing behind her. A few of our friends were in the living room but I just shrugged my shoulders and thanked god we had got dressed again before going to sleep.

"Congratulations!" I said to her on the day of her, and so many of our other friends college graduation.

"Thank you." She said back, not meeting my eyes.

There was a pregnant pause and I prayed no one would come interrupt us before I said my piece. Most pictures had already been taken, and Lauren's family had left telling her they'd meet her to go eat in what was now only half an hour.

"I love you too, you know." I said.

She looked up to me, her face seemed shocked and she didn't seem to know what to say.

"I'm sorry."

"Why."

"That you love me and I love you."

"Why are you sorry."

"The time isn't right now, maybe later."

I felt my heart shatter, and I knew hers did too because her eyes were filling with tears.

"You don't want this and neither do I. Lauren, I love you, and I'm sorry I didn't realize it earlier." I was willing to beg.

"I'm sorry, Joey. Maybe later in life, or another life even, but now now." She said.

She cupped my face and we shared one last kiss before she left me standing on the sidewalk alone.

A/N: WOW I HATED WRITING THAT LOW KEY BUT I ALSO LOVED IT!!! Man sometimes I just love me some angst!! Thank you for reading!