So You're Trapped in an Alternate Universe?

Richpez - Valentines Present

"Here's the mail." Joey said to Lauren, lightly throwing it on her face as she laid on the couch.

"If any of them are bills, you can have them." She said back, sitting up to go through the small pile of mail they'd received.

"We never get bills anymore they're all auto pay." He said sitting down next to her feet.

Lauren threw an envelope at him and raised her eyebrows as he looked at her.

"And what does that look like?" She joked.

"You're right, babe, you're so smart!" Joey said back opening the doctors bill from where he had to go in for his migraines a few weeks ago.

Lauren kept throwing things to the side onto the coffee table, mail seemed to get less and less relevant as the years went by. The most exciting thing so far was the package Lauren had got from Meredith with a shirt inside that was covered in pictures of chihuahua heads. Lauren had FaceTimed her to thank her for the hilarious Goodwill find and left Joey to finish opening up the mail.

"Hey we got something from your mom." Joey said nudging Lauren with his foot.

She waved him off and continued her conversation with Meredith. They were talking about her demos from Firebringer or something and Lauren had spent the past ten minutes assuring Meredith that they weren't bad.

Joey heard Meredith laugh and say something about him being an outsider here, and in the musical.

"Yes, yes, you're right, Meredith. You're always finding a way to keep me from the ladies." He said winking at Lauren and opening the pink envelope from her mom.

As soon as Joey opened the heart covered card inside the envelope, he dropped it and looked at Lauren with a look of shock on his face.

"What?" Lauren mouthed to him.

Joey started laughing and picked up the card to look inside of it again. Almost instantly he started laughing harder and had to lay the card back down on the coffee table.

"Please look at what your mom has sent to us." He said to Lauren, after she had gotten off the call with Meredith, promising to text her later.

"What did she send? Please tell me it's cute puppy pictures." She responded, moving her body to sit next to Joey.

"No way! It's so much better!"

"Oh no." Lauren said finally laying eyes on what was inside the card.

Joey started laughing again. "Oh yes!" He replied, picking up the coupons and handing them to her.

The look or horror on Lauren's face was indescribable. It's like the look a child gets when they accidentally walk in on their parents having sex for the first time.

"Why on earth did my mother send these to us."

"Well I'm sure she and your dad have no use for them." Joey laughed.

"Eww! Joey! That's so fucking gross!" Lauren said punching him on the arm. "I don't even want to think about my parents in that situation."

While Joey sat and laughed at the horror Lauren was experiencing, she picked up the card to see if her mom had said anything about the coupons, and hoped she hadn't.

"How do I even acknowledge this to her. Like surely she's gonna ask if I got the card! I don't want to talk to her about this!" Lauren wailed.

"Babe," Joey started, trying to contain his laughter, "you're in your 30's and you live with your boyfriend... I'm sure she knows you're having sex." He finished.

"No!" Lauren cried, placing her head into her hands.

Joey bit his lip to hold back his snickers, as he rubbed her back to comfort her.

"This is going to be the most awkward conversation ever with her!"

"Didn't she talk to you about sex when you were in school?"

"No not really, and she never went out of her way to give me something like this!" She said waving the coupons in Joey's face.

He just laughed again.

"Why do you keep laughing." Lauren said angrily.

"Baby, I'm sorry it's just so funny! I think you're overreacting! Maybe you just mentioned to her that you needed a new bra or something I'm sure it's not as big of a deal as you're making it." He said trying to comfort her again.

"Joey. It was in a Valentine's Day card don't be so naive!"

"Maybe she's trying to tell us something? Maybe she's sick of her only grandchild being a dog and she wants a human baby?" Joey grinned at Lauren.

"No."

"Thank god!"

"No kids. Dogs only."

"How are we gonna break it to your parents? Maybe we could send the coupons back?"

"Joey! I like free stuff!" Lauren said, throwing her body onto him.

"Then use them and we can have fun still and not have kids!" He said pulling Lauren up into a sitting position onto his lap.

"I like the way you think, Richter!" She said.

"Somebody's gotta do it, so it might as well be me!" He said in his bomb guy character voice.

Lauren made sure he saw her roll her eyes before she leaned in to kiss him.

A/N: okay this literally took me since she posted about the Victoria's Secret coupons on her story to write. Sorry it's not the best but I had to do something with it or it would kill me! Thanks for reading loves!