Ruthless

Chapter 18

Acceptance

I rested my chin on my Mom's shoulder and wrapped my arms around her. Naka-akbay sa akin si Kuya at si Dad ay tumulong na buhatin ang kabaong ni Mamita.

I was still crying but Mamita's words echoed in my mind. She doesn't want me weeping. Last night, I told her everything. I didn't care if I looked insane sitting beside her coffin and talking.

"You are so beautiful Mamita. Sa'yo talaga ako nagmana." I said and smiled. "Thank you for the life lessons, Mamita. Thanks for always being there. I am accepting that offer po. Not just because you wish but also because I know I need it. If that happens, baka hindi po kita mabisita pero uuwi ako kung kaya ko. I am so grateful for you, Mamita. I love you so much. I will always treasure you in my heart."

Pinapayungan ako ni Alzeth habang naglalakad. Nahihiya na ako sa kanya. He extended his absence from work just so he could accompany me here.

Ilalagak ang labi ni Mamita sa museleo kung saan ang kanyang dalawang kapatid.

Mommy and Daddy released their flowers and I saw Dad wiping his tears. Tito Andres was quietly wiping his tears. He told me that he can't show he is weak kaya palihim siya kung umiyak.

I hugged Papa. "I will miss your Mamita so much. Ang sabi ko ay dapat ako ang mauna sa kanya para may sasalubong sa kanya sa langit. But she said ladies should go first."

"It's so painful Papa." I whispered.

"I know, hija. I am in so much pain too. But you know what your Mamita said in our last conversation?"

"Ano po?"

"She told me that acceptance is the key. She said, I can be sad because of the pain her lost will cost me but I have to accept things whether I like it or not dahil hindi na maibabalik pa ang nawala.  Ang sabi niya pa, 'You can not be sad forever.' That is why I am trying to accept everything slowly. You should too. Lalo na doktor ka, you can't focus on saving lives if you are always in pain."

Mamita is right, acceptance is the key. I cannot promise that I'll accept it right away, tho.

We stayed in there for a few hours at umuwi kami sa ancestral house na medyo late na. Nag-volunteer sina Tita at ang Mommy na maiwan muna para may kasama si Papa sa bahay.

"Ingat kayo ha, Alzeth." Paalala ni Mommy.

"Yes, Tita. Hatid ko po siya sa condo tapos sa ospital."

My eyes widened. "That's too much."

"Hayaan mo na si Alzeth, anak. At least I am not worried." Sabi ni Mommy.

"Dad, are you going home po?"

"Yes. Pati na rin ang Kuya mo. May mahalaga kaming deal na iko-close bukas."

Humalik ako sakanyang pisngi at kay Mommy. "I love you both."

"We love you too," Sagot ni Dad.

Si Kuya ang naglagay ng mga gamit ko sa sasakyan ni Alzeth.

"Are you sure that you're really coming with that jerk?" Bulong niya kaya hinampas ko siya.

"Hey, I was just kidding! I trust him, somehow. Kapag may ginawa sa'yo, tawag ka kay Xander. 'Wag na muna sa kambal, he'll get punched straight up."

Umirap ako. "Sinuntok mo rin naman si Gio."

"That suits him well. Who does he think is he to hurt our princess? You should stop liking that asshole."

Inakbayan niya ako at hinalikan sa gilid ng ulo. "Call me when you need anything, okay? Don't worry Mom and Dad for a while. If you need someone to talk to, Kuya Luke is here."