Surviving Love

Puzzle Pieces

I was covered in sweat by the time I got back to the house. My dri-fit shirt was balled up in my hands, I used it to wipe the beads of sweat that were pouring down my face. I headed straight for the shower, relaxing under the cool water.

My mom had already told me she was planning to spend the day with Jake. I figured I'd take everyone's advice and try and catch up on some sleep. I wasn't doing too bad after Anna's sleep over but I still looked pretty rough. Maybe the black circles under my eyes were just going to be a new feature I sported from here on out. I threw on a pair of joggers and padded out to the kitchen for a caffeine fix and some food.

I put a fresh pot of coffee on and made myself a turkey sandwich. I leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee as I bit into my sandwich. I stared into the living room, I needed to get the crown modeling up. It had been sitting in the shed, painted for way too long. I grabbed the mug I had put under the drip, sliding the coffee pot in place. The crown modeling would have to wait for another day. I was almost to the couch when someone knocked on my front door.

I changed course, my half eaten sandwich clutched in my hand as I tried to open the door. I dropped some turkey and a glop of mayo on the floor, muttering to myself. Once I got the door cracked open I used my foot to kick it the rest of the way so I couldn't take another bite of my sandwich.

"Hey." Maci said, smiling.

"Hi." I mumbled through my mouth full of food.

I stared at her a moment. Why did she keep showing up? I shrugged a little, what the hell? And let her in.

"Am I interrupting anything?" She asked.

I shook my head no, wiping food from my face with the back of my hand. I washed down my sandwich with some coffee. It was burning hot and definitely scalded my throat a little.

"I was headed into town but I thought I'd stop by and say hello." She said.

I shifted on my feet. I really wanted to cram the rest of my sandwich in my mouth. I left it on the counter instead, abandoned.

"Alright." I said.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to say. I stood by the counter, my sandwich calling my name, as Maci sat down on my couch. She apparently was staying for a few. I looked at her and back at my sandwich. Oh what the hell? I shoved the last of it in my mouth and grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge. I handed her a bottle when I got to the couch, taking a seat next to her, a few inches separating us.

"How's Jake?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Same."

The bottle seal snapped as I twisted the lid. I took a long drink, washing the remnants of my sandwich down. We sat in silence. And much to my surprise it was like the silence we use to enjoy together. Where you didn't feel stressed to say something. You could just enjoy each other's company.

"Why'd you give me all the framed pictures of us when you left?" I asked.

It had been haunting me since the day she left the box in the middle of my closet.

"I didn't." She said.

"I have a box in my closet that I know you looked through that says otherwise." I spun the top of the bottle through my fingers, my gaze focused on the floor.

"I kept doubles of them, in an album." She said. "Still have it. It's on my bookshelf by my desk in Chicago."

I looked up at her. She was staring at me.

"Did you ever look through them?" I asked.

My chest started to tighten, my heart pounding. I wasn't sure if I wanted the answer. She gave it to me regardless.

"Yeah." She nodded, a smile coming to her face as she looked away. "All the time when I first got there. I use to wonder what you were doing. If you were seeing anyone. Where you lived. If you and Skylar were still living together. I thought about calling you a thousand times."

"Why didn't you?"

My voice cracked a little. I needed something stronger than water. I felt Maci wrap her fingers around my forearm, squeezing lightly.

"I needed to be on my own and I knew if I called you...I would have come home."

I shook my head, it didn't make any sense. I wouldn't have made her come home. I could've moved there.

"Were you not happy with me?" I asked.

"Of course I was Jared." I felt tears  rush to my eyes.  "You know that."

I shoved myself off the couch, unable to take the anxiety coursing through me sitting down. I paced back and forth, running my hands through my hair as I tried desperately to sort things out in my head and keep my emotions in check.

"No, Maci. I don't." It came out a little more angry than I meant. "If you're happy with someone you don't leave."

"It wasn't about you, it was me."

She also stood from the couch, the pair of cropped jeans she had on hugged her in all the right places. She took a step toward me and I stopped pacing. I rubbed at my chest, hoping to relieve some of the tension that was building up there.

"It was all me. I needed to see if I could do things on my own. And I knew the only way to do that was to leave." She said.

Her brown eyes met mine, I wasn't close enough to see the gold flecks in them but I knew they were there.

"I could have gave you space." I told her.

"I didn't want to make you wait." She said. "I didn't know how much time I needed."

I shifted on my feet. There was a giant lump in my throat making it damn near impossible to speak.

"I'll always wait for you."

I crossed the floor in just a couple steps, my hands cupped the sides of her face, her skin soft against my palms. She looked up at me, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide and innocent like when she use to kiss me when we were young. I didn't know if my heart was still beating but I wasn't sure I cared. I knew we'd fit together. We always had.

I closed the space between us, her breath warm on my face just before I pressed my lips to hers. My hand slipped into her hair, the other drawing her closer to me. She felt just like I remembered. She tasted the same too. She matched my movements effortlessly. We were meant to be together. We had to be. How could I love her so much and us not end up together?

                       ---------------

I have so much I want to say. But I'm not going too. I'm going to keep my mouth shut and let the story unfold. I will not be able to make everyone happy, myself included so we all just have to hang in there. Just remember though. This is only Jared's point of view. I wasn't planning on writing another book to this series but maybe that will change so that we all can have some damn closure.

Anyway. I got the book Turtles All The Way Down by John Green for Christmas. It was amazing for those who haven't read it. Cried a solid three times. Read it in 4ish hours. I got two more books for Christmas so if updates are slow that's what's going on. Happy New Year everyone! -DBR