Surviving Love

In The Loop

I had to be to work in an hour. I took a drink of coffee, waiting quietly as a nurse changed out Jake's catheter. She didn't try and small talk with me and I was grateful. I was still trying to figure out a way to tell Anna about Atlanta.

Jake had fallen asleep about an hour into me being there. I let out a sigh shifting back into the chair as the nurse left. Anna was coming over when I got out of work and I had to tell her. I just wasn't sure how. The worst case scenario was she'd break up with me. The thought had anxiety rushing through me. I shook my head, silently telling myself it wouldn't happen. We could make the long distance thing work. People did it all the time. I could fly back every once in awhile and she could fly down. It'd be easy.

Jake's door clicked open, Bryan emerged from around it hesitantly. He waved, I nodded.

"He fell asleep about 30 minutes ago." I told him. "Sit."

He looked nervous as hell, his mere 18 years showing through.

"H...how is he?" He asked, taking a quick glance at me.

I shrugged. "Improving I guess."

Bryan nodded, he looked a little pale.

"First time you've come?" I asked.

He shook his head 'yes'. "Sort of, I came right after it all happened but I chickened out at the door."

I nodded, glancing over at Jake. His chest was rising and falling, his face relaxed.

"How is he?"

I blew out a breath. "He squeezes your hand, mumbles, follows with his eyes. That sort of stuff."

The doctor in me was pleased with his progress. The brother in me was devastated still.

"Is that good?" Bryan's voice was unsteady. "Will he be okay?"

I shrugged, looking at Bryan. He had his head down, spinning his phone around in his fingers.

"Some people make a full recovery and some people don't. It really just depends."

Bryan nodded his head slightly, he kept his eye down trying to hid his grief.

"I'm sorry." His voice coming out a little choked. He shook his head. "I should have told you sooner."

"Told me what?" I asked. I shifted in my feet, Bryan had my full attention.

"I believed him you know? He said he had it under control."

"What under control?"

Bryan's eyes met mine, they were filled with tears just waiting to burst over the edge. I had a pretty good idea what he was talking about but I wanted confirmation.

"It started when he met Courtney. He said it was a one time thing, the heroin." He looked at Jake. "The past few months though he was using like crazy. I should have told you."

I felt my chest tighten. How did I not see it? My muscles tensed with anger, not toward Bryan or Jake but at myself. I should have known.

"Are you?" I asked Bryan.

"No. I don't touch that crap." He blurted, shaking his head furiously. "It scares me." He said just above a whisper.

"Good it should." I sounded more pissed than I meant to. I was just so mad that I had been so ignorant, that I hadn't done more. "He's going to Atlanta for rehab." I said after a minute.

"Georgia?" Bryan asked his eyes wide as he gaped at me.

"Yeah, it's one of the best places."

I kept saying it more for myself than anyone.

"Damn."

I nodded.

"You're going too?" He asked.

I nodded again. I still had to work out a few things and you know, find a job. My dad had already found a house nearby the Shepard Center, he was sending my uncle to go check it out in the next day or two because he couldn't get away from work. If my uncle passed it, he was going to put an offer in on it. So hopefully I wouldn't have to worry about a house down there, I'd just be back to living with my mom.

"Can I ask you a question?" Bryan's voice broke me from my thoughts.

"This whole thing has kinda, I don't know, made me realize I need to start growing up I guess. I was thinking about applying to some community colleges, I just don't really know what I want to be." He took a breath, hesitation in his voice when he spoke again. "I thought I should get a better job too, do you...uh..do you think your dad would hire me?"

I stared at him, studying his boyish face and long, scraggly brown hair. He was nervous.  I couldn't seen him doing construction but yet I didn't really know him all that much. He just looked like a non athletic computer nerd who smoked too much pot on occasion.

"Are you interested in construction?" I asked.

"I mean I haven't done a lot but I helped my grandpa build a deck and remodel his bathroom."

"I don't know if he needs anyone but give him a call." I said. "I bet he'll hire you."

"Yeah?" A smile tugged at the corners of Bryan's mouth.

"Yeah man." I smiled a little too. "If you're interested I could use some help hanging some molding in my house. I can give you a few tips  so you're not just getting thrown in there if you want."

Skylar would be thrilled if he didn't have to help me with the molding. He'd help but he definitely preferred not to.

"Really? Yeah that would be awesome." Bryan said, his voice raising a little.

"Yeah." I checked my watch. I had to go to work. "Listen I gotta go. I'll text you though and we will figure out a time."

"Okay, Thanks, I appreciate it." I held my hand out as I stood and Bryan shook it.

"No problem." I grabbed my bag with my scrubs off the floor, taking a quick glance at Jake. He was still asleep. I bet he'd get excited if he knew Bryan was here. "Stay as long as you want man."

Bryan nodded. "Thanks."

I pulled the door open about to walk through when I turned back around. "And give my dad a call."

                                ———————

So I went and saw Wonder. It was good but as always the book is far better. The hubs balled through the whole thing 😂. I can't take him anywhere. -DBR