My Anxiety Is Silent (STARCO)

I Didn't Want You To Worry About Me

Star's P.O.V
Marco and I have gotten closer over the past few days. Not really sure if we're officially dating but I hope soon we will be. My life has been crazy, going from this anxious and shy person to a girl who isn't afraid to make friends. I love Marco Diaz and I'm so glad that he loves me! Marco told me that he knows when I have a panic attack so that when I have one he will be able to help me right away. I really wish I could tell him that my anxiety is getting worse but I don't want him to worry. I hate when people worry about me.

"Star, you okay?" I realized I had been staring at my desk thinking about a lot of stuff. Then a voice clicked in my head.

Stop falling for him. He doesn't like you, he's just using you. Why else would he have tried so hard to get you back!?

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about some stuff." I give him a small smile, hoping that he doesn't see past it.

You're so weak, just tell him you're not okay. All he will do is tell everyone how weak and pathetic you are.

"Star, you're not okay. I'm getting you out of here," Marco raised his hand "Ms. Turner?"

"Yes Marco. Something wrong?" I looked at Marco with a panicked face.

"Can Star and I go out to the hallway?" My face turned pale and my anxiety kicked up.

"Yeah, of course." She smiled and Marco grabbed my hand. We walked out the door and he set me down on the ground. He stared deep into my eyes.

It took a few seconds for my anxiety to kick in. My hands started shaking, tears were running down my face, and my breathing started going faster. Everything started going fuzzy and soon...everything was black. This happened at least once a day, nothing new. I wasn't passed out but it felt like I was. I couldn't see anything, I could only hear but everything sounded muffled.

"Star, I'm right here." Marco's voice was reassuring. It somehow calmed me and when he kissed me, every cell in my body seemed calm but when he pulled back I panicked again.

Marco's P.O.V
The only time she gets this bad is when she is worried about something or hurt. From the looks of it, it doesn't seem like she's either of those things. Why is she having a bad anxiety attack? Why can't I help her?!

"M-Marco, I'm so s-sorry." Star choked out her words. It almost seemed like she was forcing them to come out.

"Star, it isn't your fault that you have anxiety. Don't apologize." She seemed pretty calm except she was still sobbing. I grabbed her cheek and looked at her in the eyes.

"No, I mean that I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm seriously an idiot." My face scrunched up in confusion.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked as she looked down at the ground. Each tear that rolled down her face, I wiped away.

"My anxiety attacks haven't gotten better, th-they've been getting worse. I know I shouldn't have lied to you, I'm sorry." Her tears were flowing fast and I wish I could just stop them.

"Why didn't you tell me that they were getting worse?" Her bright blue eyes looked into my chocolate brown and I felt like I could sink and drown just by looking at her eyes.

"I hate when people worry about me. I didn't want you to worry about me." She gave me a smile that said she was deeply sorry.

"Listen, I love you, Star. It's part of my job to worry about you. It may drive you insane sometimes but...I just love you." My face was hot and my cheeks flushed.

"That's...really sweet. Thanks Marco." She pulled me into a hug and I could feel every worry I had lift off of me. I swear, this girl is going to drive me crazy.

Star seemed better the rest of the day. Everytime I looked at her, a smile crept on both of our faces. We both would look at each other, smile, and then giggle while looking away. It may seem weird but for us it was somehow...reassurance that we are there for each other. At the end of the day, we hold hands before going our seperate ways. We may not have made our relationship official but one day I'm going to ask her out. Her birthday is coming up so I will probably do it then.

Everything was great in my life until that night...everything changed. My life flipped. It was in the middle of the night when it happened. I was sleeping and suddenly woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Usually I ignore it but my heart stopped when I read the name. Janna Ordonia, she never calls unless it's important. I picked it up hoping that it was just a prank or something that wasn't too important for me.

"Hey Janna, what's going on?" My voice was almost a whisper and I barely finished my sentence when she answered.

"It's Star, come to the hospital. Now!!" Those words, those were the words that made my heart stop. Every bone froze and I could barely get any words out. I felt like crying, sobbing even. What if she will die? I can't loose her, not now, not ever! I have to get to her. I have to tell her that everything will be okay. I need...to comfort her!

HEYY EVERYONE!!! Sorry if this chapter made your heart hurt but...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! ❤❤