My Anxiety Is Silent (STARCO)

Goodbye

Star's P.O.V
Nobody said life was easy, and if they did then they're crazy. Life wasn't meant to be easy. Life was mean to be challenging because you can conquer it. Janna had every reason to live she just didn't have the right people to help save her. Everyone deserves to live a great life.

The point is that you should never give up no matter how tough life gets. I mean a year ago I thought that I didn't deserve to live and now I've got so much to live for. Just the thought of how far I've come makes me so happy. Ever since Tom moved away things have gotten better. People started being nice to me, not everyone but a lot of people. This past week I've gotten a lot friends who are finally understanding my anxiety.

"Hey Star! How have you been?" Kelly walked up to me and sat on the bench. I was in the park just looking at all the kids running around and couples hanging out.

"I'm honestly happier than I have been in weeks. It's like my life is changing right in front of my eyes. Sounds cheesy, I know. Anyway, how are you?" We both chuckle at how cheesy I sounded.

"I'm...okay. Jackie has just been bullying me this past week but I'm okay." I give her a tight hug, which she returns. Her frown turned to a smile which made mine grow.

"Hey Star, hey Kelly!" I knew that amazing voice from anywhere. He sat next to me on the other side. His smile made me blush and look away, embarrassed.

"Hey Marco. I should get going now bye guys." Hope was gone before either of us could ask where she was going. Marco gave me a sweet and gentle kiss. No matter how many times he kisses me it gives me chills each time.

"So, I thought since we're on Spring break maybe we could go on a date? You know just for fun." He smirked at me with that sparkle in his eyes. I quickly nodded with an excited smile.

"That would be awesome when and what are we doing?" He laughed at my excitement. How could I not get excited about going on a date with Marco Diaz?

"How about tonight at five and we can do whatever the heck we want." I smiled and ruffled his hair. He glared at me jokingly but we both burst into laughter.

"We should go home and get ready because it's already 2pm!" I jumped up, gave Marco a hug, and ran home. I ran into the house and slammed the door open. Juliet quickly ran to me and freaked out, thinking something was wrong.

After reassuring Juliet that I'm okay, I went up to my room and changed into a white medium dress, black flats, and put of pink lipstick. My hair was straightened and flowed perfectly. I smiled at myself in the mirror and danced around a bit ready for the date. A knock on the door interrupted my dance.

"Hey Star. Marco Diaz is here to take you on your date." Juliet smiled widely. She pulled me into a hug as tears started to fall down her face. I pulled away quickly and looked at her with worry.

"What's wrong mom? Are you okay?" She nodded and gently cupped my face. There was a smile on her face which meant she was happy.

"I'm okay, I'm just so proud of you. Janna never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I wish I got to see her have one. Seeing you with Marco means a lot to me. You're perfect for each other." I smiled back and started to tear up as well. Janna really deserved someone to love.

I walked down the stairs and slowly approached the door. Juliet suddenly grabbed my hand and turned me towards her. She pulled out a silver bracelet with me and Marco's name on it. I smiled brightly and thanked her. I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door to see Marco in his normal outfit with a huge smile.

"Hey Star! You look amazing, ready to go?" His eyes stared into mine and he took my hand.

"I'm ready to go." Marco smirked at me and started walking away from my house. Our hands were locked together the whole time we walked. We arrived at the ice cream shop and ordered our favorites. We still held hands even as we ate our ice cream. It seemed kind of silly but it was what we did and it comforted me.

Marco said that he had a surprise for me somewhere at his house. I followed him in the direction and we ended up in his garage which was very clean. The one thing that stood out to me was the yellow guitar placed in the center of the garage. Marco walked over to it and picked it up, bringing it over to me.

"So I heard from a certain someone that you wanted a yellow guitar. It took me a while to find this but it was all worth it once I got it." I nearly screamed at the thought of finally playing a guitar. This, for some reason, was one of my lifelong dreams.

"Oh my gosh, Marco. Thank you so so much for this! I love you so much." He laughed but smirked at me. He gently placed the guitar in my hands and put the strap around my shoulder.

He helped me learn the basics and how to strum each chord. His hands touched mine and each time he did I'd melt at how soft his hands were. I started to get the hang of playing the guitar and soon enough had it memorized. He told me to try and play a song to which I started playing Sorry by Halsey. It was pretty easy until I was about halfway through singing and messed up. Marco clapped for me anyways. As soon as I put the guitar Marco grabbed my wrist and turned me around. He kissed me gently.

"I love you so very much Star." We were laying side by side and looking into each other's eyes. His eyes we're full of love and wonder. Our hands were once again latched to one each other.

"I love you so very much too, Marco." We barely said anything the rest of the time before we both fell asleep. I dreamed about the start of my life with Marco until now. The first time I saw him walk into the room, how he felt bad that he didn't stand up for me, how he helped me after I had a horrible day, our first kiss, how we fell apart and he fixed me by kissing me, through all the rough times he held me up, and her we are now. He's the est thing to happen in my life and I know I'll be with him for a long time.

...

"Wait...so you made out for the first time in your dead friends room?" Our child, Aurora, asked after Marco told our story from beginning to end. I put in random thoughts and remarks to help the kids understand.

"Yeah, that's super rude and weird. It's your friend but whatever I guess." Caleb laughed after his sentence. Elizabeth punched Caleb's shoulder playfully.

"I...never thought of that." Marco confessed before smiling a bit. He gave me a quick kiss and the children made disgusted faces. We both laughed as we started talking about random stuff.

I'm so thankful for being with Marco. He's gotten me so far in life, from nothing to something. He helped me become a better version of me. Sure I still have anxiety but I have people to help me and that's all I can ask for. Anyone can try and push me down but I will never back down because I've been through hell and back. Marco and I have both been through hell and back, which is why we pick each other up. I look back on my life and remember every single moment. Each thing that helped through my life. Janna, Juliet, Chloe, and especially Marco Diaz. My life has been a rollercoaster from the start and still is but I help my children to keep fighting. It's how life is, it can be silent but it can be louder. My anxiety isn't silent.

There it is....hmmm....😢 I'm honestly crying because its over but I'm so glad I wrote this. It's been such an amazing journey and I love you all so very much!!! ❤❤ Also yes, I got the "you made out in your dead friends room?" from a comment I loved 😂 Anyway...thanks for reading and....goodbye!! ❤