My Secrets. (My Self Harm, EatingDisorders, Bullied,Self hate, and Recovery)

Growing Up ( eatingdisorder)

So once I went into seventh grade in Junior High School,  it sucked, a lot. Hormones just going crazy and everyone started changing physically and mentally.

For me it took a while to comprehend everything that was going on around me. I was still that chubby little girl, who still got dressed by her parents. I remember going to the doctors for a checkup I weighed around 120 to 140 for a 12 year old.

Everyone around me started getting skinny and leaner, and I noticed that slowly they seperated from me. I dont really know why, but im pretty sure it was because of my appearance on the outside. it sucked..

So I just felt guilty picking up a piece of cake or eating chips. Basically anything I ate I felt disgusted about myself later on.

So I stopped eating lunch at school..

I pretended that I would eat lunch just so my parents wont worry about me, I kept the money they gave me, or said that I got free lunch.

Some of my friends joked around saying I was becoming anorexic and I didnt know what that meant at the time, so I just laughed along. But they never understood how I felt inside.

I started losing weight once I stopped eating lunch, then I just stopped eating breakfast, then dinner all together.

I tried throwing up my food, but ive always hated the taste of bile and stuff regurgitating out of my stomach and coming out of my mouth, it would always hurt when I tried. So that wasnt an option.  I lost around 20 to 30 pounds by just not eating.

But I didnt stop there, it only got worse once I graduated junior high and entered high school.

( sorry I havent updated in a while, ive been busy with finals and school almost being over, and my parents working during the day so I have to take care of my younger siblings. Please dont hate me wa :(, I Will be updating more once summer begins I promise :) but how has everyone been? THANK YOU ALL GOT READING AND LIKING AND COMMENTING ON THIS STORY, IT MEANS SO MUCHH YO ME OMFGG I LOVE Y'ALL, YOU GUYS TRULY MAKE MY DAY WHEN I SEE SOMEONE LIKE THIS STORY , I just get all jittery and happy. SO THANK YOUUU SOOO MUCH! VIRTUAL HUGSS TO ALLL YOU GUYS!!! I LIVE YOU MY BUNCHES OF OATS! ♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡ ) :***** ~Aly

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omg im hyper and its like 11 at night and I have work at 8 lol im crazy, this proves how much I lovr you all mkayy ;**** :3 Goodnight/Goodmorning/Goodafternoon y'all !  º○º ~A.