sorry I havent updated I finally finished school, and on summer! I will update regularly for all you lovelys :).
During the final months of 9th I went on a full blown binge fest. I would eat and eat, and eat, and eat. Then after I ate, I would cry, then self harm, then feel guily then take laxatives, then say that I wouldnt eat the next and so on. I would repeat that every single day.
Then I started working out at the local gym. I would also wear these sweat wraps that went around ny stomach, just to get all the water weight off. I was a mess.
I got really bipolar with food. I loved it one day, then the next day I would hate it because it made me fat and then not eat at all, and be depressed for the day. It was a heap of confusion. I had my ups and downs with trying not to eat and then eating more than I should. I couldn't stop.
In the morning, when I was getting ready for school, I would put a timer and put 24 hours, and try not to eat for that long. Of course it never worked, because once I got home from school, I would binge like crazy. I just didnt have paitence with food, I couldn't control myself.
Im pretty sure I ate more than 1000 calories every day, no joke. And the worst part was when my parents asked if I wanted to work out, I would pass because I felt so shitty about my appearance and self-esteem. And I would lay in bed and contemplate my life and why Im still here, if I keep on breaking my promises.
I just loved food, and sadly, it was taking a toll on my body. My metabolism was going really slow, and since I didnt work out or go to the gym to lose those calories, I gained 10 pounds, and had to buy new clothes that were a size bigger because of not fitting in all of my clothes.
In the summer of 10th grade, I knew I had to do something, I just couldnt keep on eating like this. Especially in the summer, when I could eat even more. So i started taking pills, laxatives, teas, and changing my intake of food completely.
YOU ARE READING
My Secrets. (My Self Harm, EatingDisorders, Bullied,Self hate, and Recovery)
Teen FictionMy Secrets: How I delt with all the pain, and how I become a stronger, independent woman. Also if you would like to have your story shared public or anonymously, contact me either through kik,twitter,instagram, or DM on here. Im here to tell how...
