Boon or Bane? {MPreg}

Blessing or Curse?

We both were stunned into silence as Doctor uttered those words, I turned to look at Kit – he was frozen, I recovered first.

"How is it possible? Is my Kit in danger?" I asked him, while Kit just kept looking at the results.

"Well – I explained to Dr. Pha last time, he had PMDS – didn't he tell you? The doctor kept looking at me and Kit, back and Forth, "It is even mentioned in the discharge summary"

I lost my patience "Can you answer my question straight" I almost shouted at the doctor in front of us.

He sighed "It means Kit has both male and female reproductive system – which is a rare genetic disorder – but it is my first time seeing someone being able to conceive a child" he explained

I took his hand in mine, he still hadn't uttered a word but now there are tears rolling down, "Is it dangerous for my Kit? Can you take it out?" I asked the doctor but my eyes were on Kit

"I am not sure, I need to do the scan and check. But from results so far – both Kit and the fetus is healthy" He replied

"Will he be okay?" I needed reassurance

"Yes – there are risks; I will not say there are none. But Kit will be okay – I see all his test results are normal" he chuckled "given the circumstance – what do we define normal?" he said to himself.

His tone then turned serious "He will be okay – either way, decision is yours. But let me tell you it is nothing short of a miracle"

I was scared for Kit; he hasn't said a word since we heard the prognosis. "Kitty?" I called him slowly; he looked with so much pain in his eyes I just hugged him.

"It's okay Kit..."I kept repeating those words wiping away his silent tears. We waited for scan and all other test, never during it once I left my Kit's hands alone.

I could see the fear, pain and shock in his eyes, It will be better if Pha or Beam is with us, so I called Pha – asked him to come even though I needed Yo or my mom next to me, I couldn't understand the emotions I was feeling.

We were both in the sitting in the waiting room, Kit silence is killing me, I had no idea what is going on in his head.

But I decided – whatever Kit wants, it is going to his decision whether to abort or go through with the pregnancy, as long as he will be okay – if it is going to be too risky for him, then I am putting my foot down.

I tried talking to Kit, but I was met only with silent tears again and no response, so I gave up – maybe he needs time to process this.

"What happened Kit?" came Beam and Pha together, and Beam went straight to Kit and pulled him into an embrace.

"We are pregnant" I replied, bit shocked by my choice of words.... was I Happy?

"What?" asked Beam shocked, Pha patted on my shoulders and gave a half hearted congratulations, with worry evident on his face.

"NO... I AM PREGNANT" said Kit in low and strained voice; we turned to look at him.

"I am pregnant – may be because of that incident – it is not a child to be congratulated, but an abomination that will be a constant reminder of that horrible night" his voice was trembling.

Shit, I never thought about it that way. I was not sure of my own feelings, how the hell would I know what he is going through.

Pha and Beam looked at each other, and the Beam turned to Kit "Kit – may be, but how are you?"

"I don't know" he said, I can't help feel a bit lonely; he was ready to talk to his friends but not his husband. I had absolutely no say in this matter. I sighed.

Pha now turned to me "Ming – what do you feel? What do you want?" he asked me.

"I don't know but I never realised that until I spoke it our loud I think I was excited in one way – that incident never occurred to me" I paused looking at Kit.

"It is up to Kit", I am fine with either way – as long my Kitkat is okay both physically and emotionally. I pulled Kit form Beam arms and hugged him tight.

"I love you... Kitty" I told him "Whatever you decide is fine with me, but don't close yourself from me" I heard him sigh "I can handle everything except losing you".

"How can I do that to you Ming?" he was now sobbing in my arms "It is one thing to try and live with it, but a reminder is something I really don't want".

"Guys, we do not have to decide now – let's learn more about Kit's condition" Pha said, but I could sense the restrain in his voice.

"Wow!!! A baby!!!!" said Beam as he sat in a chair, "Who would have thought" sighed Beam – the desire visible in his voice "I wish I could have a child" he mumbled to himself, until Pha kicked him under the chair.

"Well, I don't " Kit announced, with his face buried in my chest.

I sighed – as much as I didn't want to – I can't help but think along the lines of Beam.

Nurse walked towards as "Mr.Daipachanya, Doctor will see you both now" she said.

We all went in, "Wow – Dr.Phana, I didn't expect you guys to be here. Anyways welcome" he smiled warmly.

"How have you been?" Pha extended his hands to shake our doctor's hands.

"Well, let me cut the chase" he said looking at me and Kit, "Call it a miracle or medical impossibility, but Kittinnan here is indeed pregnant, the fetus shows normal development – which I am shocked as well, I am still trying to figure out how it is possible – I might have to call in the specialist"

He paused looking at us "Are you guys with me so far?"

All three doctors nodded, I was getting impatient "Is Kit safe – will he be alright?" I jumped in.

Doctor smiled at me "Yes, he is perfectly fine."

"Let me continue, we will have to have a surgery to remove the uterus from Kit as in the long run we do not know what complications he might have"

I gasped "Let me finish" he said before I could raise another question – "In the long run" he paused "but it is up to you guys whether you want to go through the procedure now or after the child birth." he said.

I looked at Kit, his face was impassive.

"That process is irreversible – and not all couples like you are blessed with this opportunity" he said with a warm smile on his face "It can be a blessing for you guys, so I want you two to think and decide. Don't hurry."

Pha and Beam nodded.

"Like any normal pregnancy, he just needs rest for now "he smiled again "I will see you guys next week. But from a medical standpoint, I am pretty excited"

We just thanked the Doctor and walked to our cars, "Wait here, I will bring the car around" I said to Kit, Pha joined me while Beam waited with Kit.

"How are you?" Pha asked me, I just shook my heads "Tell me honestly – what do you want?" he persisted

"I was happy I think until I heard Kit..... I don't care whether the child is mine or not but I also do not want Kit to suffer" I told him the truth.

"I never knew I wanted a baby before, until I heard the Doctor say it – I was excited and scared" I sighed "I am still in shock and surprise"

Pha nodded, "Me too, I was so happy until I heard Kit utter those words. He is the one who has to go through with it – it is his preference that matters" he sighed.

We were both lost in our own thoughts, but neither could hide the longing for a child of our own.

"I see this as a Blessing, but Kit sees it as acurse" I said and the tears I have been holding back all the while seemed toflow freely.