The Enhanced Trooper

Chapter XLV

A LAKE. I finally found out what a lake looks like. Originally I would have thought I would be seeing one with Leon.  But my company now is much better.
    All I want to do is stare at it. The peaceful scenery makes me feel safe. I know once we reach the colony and get back to base this reality I created with Kylo will disappear. So I try to stall for as long as possible.
   We decide to rest here for a bit. It was already mid day and it would take a couple more days until civilization is within reach.
     With every step we take we get closer to the First Order. And with every step I feel the enhancement tug within me. It begs me to take control. It is obsessed with taking over me. But every time I remind it that I still have a couple more days to myself before we make it to the base.
   Not forgetting my promise I made when I needed energy to save Kylo I remind myself that I better embrace my freedom while I have it. I try to distract myself with everything but getting back to base. However every once and a while a sinking feeling will happen and I am reminded of my numbered days.
    We continue on. Only stopping when nightfall came. The urgency to get to the colony is becoming over whelming. I know that it is the enhancement  That is making me feel this way but I try to hide it from Kylo. If he knew what would become of me he would do anything to stop it. Even if it meant not returning to the First Order.
     In the day time we hike through the woods. I talk to Kylo about my "childhood". If you would call it that. I would try to inquire about his past but every time he would just respond. "Forget the past. Kill it if you must."
    And I would always respond. "Okay mister mysterious."
  Before Kylo would have taken that the wrong way but something has changed between us.
    At night we would build a fire. Having a Force user comes in handy when you need to light a fire fast. We sit on opposite sides of the flames. Laying down and looking at the stars. I wonder what it would be like to be one.
    Sometimes I would pretend to fall asleep just so Kylo would ease up and fall asleep himself. But of course I never truly rested. The enhancement wakes me up. It vibrates through my body pushing me to go on. It takes every bit of energy to stop myself from running off into the jungle.
    Sometime I would stare at the fire watching the flames lick the sky. Occasionally I would see Kylo's  face through the flames. I would watch his peaceful slumbers though I know what really is happening in his mind isn't peaceful at all.
    He would wake up in the middle of the night whimpering and almost braking into tears. It broke my heart to see that but I would never admit to him that I had seen him while he was weak. I respect people's pride and Kylo has a big reputation to hold.
       Tonight was like any other night. I lay on my back crossing my hand over my stomach staring at the trees. The wind howled blowing leaves down making it almost seem like it was raining. At night the jungle would get cold but tonight it was especially chilly.
  I turned on my side letting my back face the fire. I curl in a ball and wait for day light to break. I would shiver sometimes as I tried to keep myself warm.
    "Can't sleep?" I peer over my back as Kylo sits cross legged staring at the fire.
   I turn toward him proofing my head on my elbow. "Same goes for you."
    "I can never truly get a good enough sleep."
   "I totally understand." A gust of wind blows through the trees as I hug my jacket trying to preserve what warmth I might have.
    Almost like it was instinct Kylo gets up taking two strides to get to my side of the fire. He lays down on his back next to me. Our shoulders brush as my breath hitches.
What is he doing? I don't know what to say when Kylo finally breaks the awkward silence. "If we stay close together we will be warmer."
   "Right." I say unconvinced with his reason.
    As time passes i become more comfortable with his presence. It is almost like a blanket as I hear his breaths slow and become deep.
   I smile as I remain tired but awake starring up.
    Kylo sighs as he rolls on his side. I turn on mine so I face him.
He looks so peaceful. So hansom. No. Stop thinking like that. He is your leader.
    I chastise myself but I can't stop myself from looking at his sleeping figure. I notice a hair fall across his face as I reach to stroke it behind his ear. Almost on response Kylo's arms reach forward circling around me pulling towards his chest. I try to stop it from happening. Holding out both arms as my palms make contact with his chest.
   My face presses against his shirt and my arms are pinned in front of my chest.
Well this is uncomfortable. I know that Kylo doesn't mean to do this. He is just sleeping. He would never be this comfortable with anyone. Besides he doesn't look at me in that way. I am just a pest. Or maybe a friend to him.
    I don't dare move scared I will wake him. I find myself breathing in his sent as the rise and fall of his chest creates a lullaby. I find my eyes closing. The need to keep moving disappears as I savor this moment my eyes close and I know they won't be opening till morning.
    After that day our proximity has broken any professional boundary. Instead of walking single file we walked next to each other. Out shoulder brush together always making sure we are next to them. At night there is no need for words. We instinctively "huddle" together.
   Kylo is more patient with me. He takes the time to explain stuff to me that I don't understand.
     Every so often when I find myself thinking about Kylo I remind myself that I when we get back things will be different. I will be different. And no matter how hard I try to ignore the emotions I have for him. I can't dispose them. So instead I embrace them.
    After what seems like forever we finally stop. It has been a couple days since we first started out but it seems like ages ago.
    I had been gnawing at the knowledge of what will happen when we get back. I had been holding it back for so long scared it would change things between us but I had decided that he deserved to know.
   "Kylo I have to tell..."
  Kylo puts a finger to his mouth silently telling me to be quiet. He ducks dragging me down with him as a girl and a boy come running through the trees.

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