The Potions Master's Daughter (Book Five)

Chapter 39

The next day Harry and I filled Ron, Hermione, and Neville in o what had happened with Dumbledore, "So you're really going to go help him destroy those things?" asked Ron casting a quick glance over at Flitwick.

"I don't know when, but that's the plan," Harry said confidently, "I think we can really do this, we are so close to getting all this over with finally. I think I will have another swig of the potion and see if I can figure out what Draco is up to in the Room of Requirement."

"Oh that'll never work," replied Hermione, "Luck can only take you so far Harry. You always were able to persuade Slughorn you just need the right circumstances, you haven't got a chance to see what Draco is doing in there."

"Can't we just make more if it doesn't work?" huffed Harry.

I shook my head, "It takes nearly six months to brew and severus doesn't even have all the ingredients for it on hand. By the time we got it to finish the year will be over and it won't be worth it anyways."

"I know it's important to find out what he's been doing in there, I can feel it," murmured Harry as Flitwick passed by our table.

One evening a week later Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron decided to go on a double date, so I bid them farewell then walked around the castle aimlessly.

"Hey stranger," Blake called from behind me.

I turned around and my face spread into a wide smile, "Hey Blake, how are you? I wasn't expecting to run into anyone here. I come here to walk around and think a bit."

"I do too," he said softly.

"What are you thinking about then?" i questioned.

"Just about the future. I think about that a lot. I'm also worried about Draco. He, Crabbe and Goyle are up to something and I'm not quite sure what their plan is. I can only assume it has something to do with the Vanishing Cabinets you all told me about, and getting Death Eaters into Hogwarts but he's been really on edge lately and a few days ago I found him crying in the boy's bathroom."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I know he's been working on that non stop. Harry and the guys are really close to finding out what he's been working on so we somehow need to find a way to stop this, but I'm not sure how. I suspect Dumbledore and Severus have a plan that they're not telling me about, because they've been super secretive lately. How about you, how have you been holding up?'

"It's been really nice not having meetings for a while, but I can feel something brewing. A lot of the Slytherins have parents that are Death Eaters and everyone is constantly talking about following in their footsteps after they leave school or helping fight with him during the war that's inevitable."

"Don't you just wish we could go back to second year sometimes?' I asked, "It was so peaceful."

He nodded and sat down against the wall, "All the time I wish that. The only good thing that's bound to come out of this is that we will be able to be...friends again, and who knows where it'll go from there."

My heart fell, I hadn't given the thought of Blake or Neville much thought and I knew it was entirely unfair to both of them, "Blake," i said quietly.

He held up a hand to quiet me, "Nope we don't have to talk about any of this now. You've got too much going on right now Jessica, I get that. We have our whole lives to figure ourselves out."

I leaned my head on his shoulder, "Harry and I talked to Dumbledore again. It turns out Voldemort split his soul, and we are going to have to try and find all the pieces before we can even try to kill him. I am ready to just fight him now and get this over with, but he wouldn't be truly gone."

"A little extra time to prepare isn't the worst thing. I don't want you to get hurt in the battle, and die just because you aren't ready enough."

I shrugged, "My life would be worth it to defeat him."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true. My life doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of this all. What's really important is that he dies, how we get there doesn't matter much."

"You will come out of this alive. I won't let you throw your life away just because you have some notion that it won't matter to anyone. I know you're going to betray your friends, but once you explain to them what happened, I'm sure they'll understand and take you back."

"I hope so," I replied in a small voice, "I don't know what's happening to me Blake. I keep not feeling anything so I go around chasing ways to make me feel anything at all. I'm sure you heard about my fight with Severus. I was mad, but even then I wasn't really feeling that emotion, I just knew that's how I should feel, does that make sense?"

He shook his head, "That makes no sense at all Jess. Are you sure you're alright? Maybe you're depressed, you've been dealing with a lot of crap lately."

"I could be, I don't know. I just know I want this to be over, so I can start doing something good with my life."

"You are doing good."

"I'm just working toward killing Voldemort. It has to be done, sure, but it isn't contributing anything to this world. I want to help people in a real way. Also I don't know where all this power came from. I've never questioned it before because it's helpful but I'm starting to worry I'm going to exceed my power limit soon. it just keeps coming but I have no idea where from and everyone expects so much of me and I don't know if I can live up to it."

"I don't know what to tell you Jessica, I think you're doing something really amazing. It's the sort of thing they're going to write books about and little witches and wizards are going to learn about a hundred years from now. THe day that a handful of witches and wizards took down the most powerful dark wizard of all time, that's the sort of thing that makes the history books. And I know you can do this Jessica. you're an amazing witch because you've worked hard and because you let your emotions flow through your magic just like any good witch or wizard."

"I guess so. It just doesn't feel like I'm doing anything."

"That's just because there's no tangible proof you've done anything yet, but you'll get there. And I'll be there every step of the way to tell you how amazing you are and how well you're doing."

"Thanks Blake," I sighed.