The Potions Master's Daughter (Book Five)

Chapter 46

"Jessica, you should go too," McGonagall told me, surprising me with my first name.

I just shook my head. I hadn't been able to tear my eyes off Dumbledore' lifeless form but now I finally looked up. Everyone, it seemed, had been sent back into the castle. I hadn't even noticed what they had all done when they were out here, I was in another world entirely.

"You can't stay out here, you've been out here all night, it's time to eat some breakfast."

"He did it. I watch him do it," I stated with my voice quavering.

"I know," she said sympathetically, "i can't imagine what you must be going through. We can figure everything out later. You need to rest and eat now."

"I can't eat. I want to kill him."

"I know sweetheart, but I can't let you go barging after him, you'll get yourself hurt."

"I don't care. It's all over."

"It's going to work out just fine," she told me sitting down next to me looking not at me, but at the body in front of us, "Do you want to help me move his body?"

I nodded softly and allowed a few tears to finally slip down my face. Together we levitated the body into the castle and into the first empty classroom. We conjured a bed and lay him in it. I repositioned his limbs so they weren't as awkward and covered him with a light sheet.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered touching his forehead.

"There's nothing you could have done," McGonagall told me.

"I was there. I could've stopped him, I just didn't know he was going to..."

"There's no way you could've. He had us all fooled. Come on, let's get some breakfast."

"I want to go to his quarters," I told her, "I have some things in there, and I don't know if I'll be able to go later."

She put a hand on my shoulder and said, "You can go. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself."

"I will ma'am, don't worry about me."

The look on her face led me to believe that telling her not to worry hadn't done any good. I had left some books, and a set of robes in my father's private quarters, and I needed them back. I also wanted to see if there was anything I could find that I should've found to alert me to him doing this.

Everyone was either in their dormitories or in the Great Hall so I made it to the dungeons without running into anyone else. I could hardly think about what everyone else was going to think of me. Surely they would think I had something to do with this, or that I would back up my father.

I let myself into his private quarters and looked around. Everything was just as I remembered it when I came down here just a week or so ago, yet now the place didn't seem inviting, but rather ominous.

I collected my robes from his closet. All of his robes were gone, which meant he must have planned this in advance if he had time to pack. I took my books off the bookshelf, and i realized his two favorite books, weren't there anymore. I set my pile of things on the couch to go and began to hunt around for anything out of the ordinary.

Once I was done looking in his bedroom and the main living area I even went into the kitchen to see if there was anything there. On the kitchen table there was an envelope with my name written on it in my father's curly writing.

I picked it up dainty and sat down on the couch clutching the letter in between my thumb and forefinger, unsure about whether I wanted to read the next words or not.

My curiosity got the better of me and I carefully opened the envelope and took out the piece of parchment in it. I took a deep breath and opened the note and began reading it.

Jessica,

If you are reading this it means I must have killed Albus. He and I have been planning this for a great time, but we didn't want to tell you. We both knew you would never let us go through with this plan, but there was no way around this. Dumbledore was dying, Jessica, from touching the ring Horcrux. After I made the Vow we knew there was only way this could en, with his death or my own, but he insisted that it was vital I remain at my position as Voldemort's right hand man. He asked me to kill him when the time seemed fit, and although it pained me greatly and I fought him for very long on the subject, I hope he knows what he's doing. I know you have little reason or cause to believe me, and you'll be unable to tell anyone of this, but one day everything will be explained and we can be back together. Me you and Blake can have our little family back. I love you more than anything in this world Jessica, and I know you can put an end to this whole war. Until then I will miss you with every waking minute of my life, and hope that one day you can find it in you to forgive me.

With love,

Dad

I could feel the spell taking hold of me. There was no way I'd be able to tell anyone about this letter, or what I had just read without something really bad happening. I put the letter on the table in front of me and began to cry heavily. Here in the comfort of solitude I finally let myself feel the pain of everything that had just happened. My mind was in overdrive trying to figure out if there was any truth in my father's words, or if he was just trying to decieve me again. All I knew right now was that I missed him, and wanted these words to be true more than anything else. I was upset the last real conversation we had was one filled with hate and hurtful words. I didn't want to let things end like this. if he died while he was gone I would never be able to get over that.

After half an hour of crying I sealed the letter back up and tucked it into my robe. I gathered my belongings in my arms and without looking back I stepped from my father's quarters.