Alone | Dan x Reader | Phil's Sister

Good Parts

Hey.

Colleges are sending me letters.

They are just trying to get me to go to their college.

I can't stand it.

Fuck.

Enjoy~

(y/n)'s POV

I woke up that next morning, my body heavy with exhaustion. My muscles were tense with stress and exercise. I wiggled my toes, stretching my feet and ankles as Dan's weight was holding the rest of my body down. I could feel his warm, steady breath on my neck, the heat from his skin seeping into mine. I glanced down at his hand on my stomach, and lifted it off and placing it near his body. I slipped from his grip, wincing at the excruciating pain from the run I forced myself to endure. I picked up my phone pulling up the number of my therapist. I booked an emergency session, glancing around the room. My eyes flickered from object to object, not wanting to focus in on something and have it happen again. I put my phone on the counter and looked up at the doorway. Dan was standing there, watching me intently. He approached me cautiously, restraining what would have been vigorous and quick steps towards me. He engulfed me in a hug and the feeling of that morning came over me. It was a sense of security.

"What?" I asked, my voice muffled in the wrinkles of his shirt. I had my face in his chest, his strong hands pressing me into him.

"I'm just worried about you (y/n) Lester." he said. I glanced up at him, but his eyes were locked on the clean glass window behind me. He was distracted this morning too.

"I'll be fine Dan Howell." I replied, holding his arms in my small hands. I wasn't entirely sure if I would be, an ounce of doubt masking my perception of the near future. His creamy brown eyes looked deep within mine for a source of hesitancy, but I blocked it away, knowing my therapist would most likely help me soon. "I'll be fine." I whispered this last part, timid to breaking the thick air. I heard a rattle and I tightened my hands.

"(y/n)," Dan said. I turned and focused in on him. "That's just the wind." he reassured me. I nodded and loosened my grip, my fingers gaining their color back.

"I'm going to take a shower." I said. "I booked an appointment." I said, slightly ashamed.

I know it's not abnormal to seek help from a mental health professional, but after all Dan has witnessed I was thoroughly embarrassed. When I first met Dan, I had no intention of letting him into this part of my life, and I certainly didn't anticipate Max ever causing such trouble like that. I felt my bare feet sink into the carpet as I walked down the looming hallway. I flicked on the light in the bathroom, shedding myself of my second skin. I hoped in the shower, letting the soft pelts of the water wash away the day's past. I glanced in the small mirror on my shower wall at the black streaks rolling down my face and dropping into the drain. I breathed in the steam, my lungs filling with the warmth. I scrubbed my face and body clean, stepping out into the cool air. I wrapped myself up in a towel, it quickly soaking up the water falling from my skin. I headed to my room and put on a new outfit, one I had recently bought. I silently made my way back to the kitchen. I peeked in the doorway at Dan sat in one of the chairs, his face in his hands.

I had to get better.

For Dan and everyone's sake.

"Dan." I croaked, my throat dry from my muteness. He looked up from the blackness in his hands.

"I'm really worried." he said, and I could tell his facade was falling. He could only hold strong for so long. This man, was so close to me. Not like Ella. Not like Phil. He shouldn't feel this way.

"Do you remember when we first met?" I asked. His face read as confused, but he nodded. "I just finished college and I was only just visiting Phil. Sometimes I wish I could just rewind to that part, start over." I said. "But then I think, what if that time we're not as close. I don't get to know Dan Howell like I know him now and I think, wow, I'm the luckiest goddamn girl on the planet to be where I am." I said.

"(y/n)." he uttered, but he fell silent. 

"Don't you remember when I almost slipped on the ice and you caught me and we both fell? When you scared the shit out of me with a horror game during spooky week? When I tried ice skating and you helped me? When it was my birthday and I freaked out? And I think, man with all that came Casey and my own problems, and they are my problems not yours. I just soon realize that all that doesn't matter because all the good parts out weight everything. That's why you shouldn't be worried, because I want to have more good parts, with all the bad parts too." I said. He stared at me intently.

"(y/n), you're perfect you know that?" Dan said. I gave him a questioning look. "No average person would ever say or think that."

"I suppose." I said, smiling. I don't know where that outburst came from.

"Let's get you to that therapy, hmm?" Dan said. I nodded and stood up. "And (y/n)?" he asked, handing my coat. "I'd like that too." he said. My lips curled into a smile and I slipped on my jacket, Dan's hand on my back, leading me out.

Not too eventful, but anymore trauma and I think (y/n) would defo die.

So yeah.

Stay awesome!

~Calymari