February extra

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Trains, buses, and auditions

Slowly the train passed through Liverpool Southpark way as Caitlin decided to forget the script and relax. Casually she picked up a copy of Cosmopolitan and idly flicked through it before reading an article that interested her.

At first Caitlin didn't really take any notice of the short arse ginger who looked suspiciously like Gordon Strachan's ugly older brother. Not that he was aware of it as he pompously marched like a army Captain but with the authority of a hamster.

'Tickets and passes, please.'

Caitlin grimaced as the little eejit gave her an extra long smile. As if she fancied that little git as she took back her ticket. Putting the clown to the back of her mind this was disrupted following a commotion between the hamster man and a large man with some suspect blonde highlights. It didn't help that the man looked like he got changed in the dark as he was wearing a very garish yellow shirt with bleached jeans.

There had been a faint warm smile as Caitlin felt a secret connection with the man. He was camp and Caitlin quite rightly suspected was gay but probably wouldn't admit it. All of that theory came about from a brief phone call to his Mother who he appeared to be still living with. Part of him sounded like a twelve year old kid rather than a man approaching his forties.

Still there was that feeling of a kindred spirit. Caitlin knew what it was like to be in turmoil and just hoped he would be proud of being who he was.

'But, but my Mother bought me the ticket.'

'I don't care who bought the ticket. It is out of date.'

Caitlin's heart burnt furiously as the man burst into tears with the little hamster appearing to be enjoying his distress especially as he told him that he didn't have the money to buy the ticket.

'My Mother said it would be okay.'

'But it's not is it? So if you want to continue you will have to pay the £75.'

The man looked around panic stricken. 'I haven't got it. Can I not send you the money when I get there?'

'No, you can not. If you are not able to pay I will have to issue you a penalty fine. Failure to...'

'Excuse me,' Caitlin butted in. 'Can't you see he's upset? I don't think he intentionally bunked onto the train.'

You dont have to pay right now! the hamster inspector said as he tore out a fine note from his pad. There are instructions on the back on how to pay and twenty one days to pay it by.

'Excuse me,' Caitlin said raising her voice as the hamster inspector raised his head in bemusement.

'Yes?'

'What will Mother say? Will I go to prison?'

'If you don't pay it by the date then you could be fined up to a thousand pounds and if you don't pay that then yes you could go to prison.'

'There's no need to frighten him.'

'Do you want to pay his fine and buy his ticket?'

Caitlin bit her lip furiously.

'As I thought.'

'I'll pay it,' snapped Caitlin furiously as she pulled out her purse.

'Really?'

'You don't have to,' babbled the man.

'It's okay. You've done nothing wrong.'

'I beg to differ. He has attempted to travel on a expired ticket.'

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