Chapter 15

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I woke up because of a crash outside, making me sit up in horror. Not knowing where I was, I quickly remembered when I felt a tug at my side, making me hiss and slowly lay back down. I turned my head to the right to see a shadow of a person laying in a cot. Knowing it was Justin, I felt really sorry for him that he had to sleep in something as crappy as that for me. I was going to wake him, but couldn't really reach. I looked to my left where there was a clock, which read 4:38 am. The room was dark, but the light from under the door shined through like the heavens were opening. I felt so uncomfortable, especially because I couldn't lay on my side, and I hate sleeping on my back. Knowing I wasn't going to be going back to sleep anytime soon, I decided to let my mind wander off like it normally does. That was never a good decision.

What happens when I get arrested?

Will I ever get out of jail?

Will Justin ever come visit me?

Will he even talk to me?

What would my mom think if she was here?

Who would take the shop?

I already felt a headache coming on from thinking. I watched under the door as shadows walked by, having no respect for the fact that some people are trying to sleep. Not me exactly, but, you know, people.

I looked at Justin once more as he shifted, trying to get comfortable. I couldn't help but wonder how far Justin and I could go. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine a place where everything was perfect. Jake never existed, I never killed him, and I never woke up in his house. Justin and I were happy, and there was nothing to get in our way.

I scoffed at myself for letting the thought cross my mind. Nothing about my life was perfect, not one thing. If I had to pick something, it would be Justin. And our relationship isn't even the biggest conflict right now. I just want to run away. Not to Justin's house, like away. Somewhere away from here.

When I think of this town, I think of my entire. All the times I've had here, all the memories. I can close my eyes and perfectly see every square foot of this place. I can smell the salty air, a smell that's engraved in my system. Everything about this place is perfect. The people in it? Not so much.

I closed my eyes once more. I can see teenage girls riding on their skateboards down the pier, boys chasing after them, threatening to throw them in the water. Little kids building sand castles, old women trying to sell vintage clothing. Street dances on streets made of brick, everyone holding sparklers to light up the darkness of the night. But most importantly, I can imagine myself laying down, looking up at the stars. If you can't see your surroundings, you could be anywhere you damn well please. Looking at the stars, I could imagine myself laying at the Bahamas, or in Antarctica. Because the sky, and the stars in it, are something that every place in the world has in common. While you're looking at a star in particular, there's probably millions of people from all over the earth who are looking at the exact same one. And me? I like to escape. Not from this town, not from anybody in it, but from my mind. And what scares me the most, is that it'll never happen.

Your imagination is such a powerful thing. When you feel down, you always can have happy thoughts or scenarios playing in your head. And who does that? You do. You make yourself feel terrible, beat yourself up over something you shouldn't. But who's always there to cheer you up? You are. Your imagination can take you away, and take you to the places you've dreamed of, but will probably never get to experience. Sometimes I feel as though my imagination takes over my life, which causes me to raise my standards. When you think about it, that shouldn't happen. You should have huge expectations, and dream big. But also, live your life and realize: imagination and reality are two completely different things.

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