Chapter 25

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When the wind gets knocked out of you, you sure as hell know. There's been maybe two times in my life where that's happened to me. That feeling of not breathing, not speaking not moving. Once when I killed Jake, and the other... Well, now.

You never really know what you have until it's gone. All the fights, all the hurtful words, they don't matter in the end. This one however, might've been the toughest one yet.

I thought about him, not with hate, not with anger, but with confusion.

Confusion as to; you hurt me. You lied to me. You drugged me. You deceived me.

But here I am, loving you almost more than I did before.

It had been almost three days since Justin came to my house. I sat on the couch slowly, in a daze. Why wasn't I mad? Why wasn't I absolutely fuming? I couldn't tell you. Maybe it's because I saw it coming. Everyone always leaves.

I wasn't mad. In fact, I was far from it. I was hurt. I was hurt that the person who I cared about most would do something of that matter, especially to me. If someone else were to do this to me, I would say things like you're not who I thought you were or you're a different person, but I didn't say that to Justin; I couldn't. All because we both knew that wasn't the truth.

Justin was still the caring, kind person that I came to love. And I don't feel like that'll ever change, no matter what he does. That night ended worse than I thought it would, and I hoped to never look back.

Practically how it went down: Justin told me he drugged me, I still wanted to leave with him, he wouldn't let me. There was so much screaming and crying, I almost remember it as a blur.

But now I guess I know why Justin left. He's practically the reason I trashed Jake's bedroom, and he wanted to leave me with this mess. Classy.

I had been trying to get in contact with Brad, but it was no use. He was the last resource I had to somehow connecting with my mom, and he was gone. He wanted nothing to do with me.

I walked towards the community college, probably the biggest building in Hampstead. As I walked up the steps, I was trying to figure out what to do with these kids. Well, I guess they weren't technically "kids". To me they were anyway.

They all were teenagers who have a bad past, and are trying to learn things in music. I guess we could have that in common.

"Hi," I smiled warmly at the lady behind the desk. "I'm Jessica."

"Community service," she observed, making me uncomfortable. "Fill out these forms. Once you're done, second door on the left."

I nodded and thanked her, taking a seat and filling out the paper work. It said these kids were 14-17 years old. Well, shit.

I handed the clipboard over the counter and adjusted my scarf, finding the room. I knocked quietly, then cursed myself. This was my classroom, I don't knock.

I walked in to find around twenty teenagers all in desks. There were probably sixteen boys and four girls as I observed. They all looked unhappy, but hey, I wasn't thrilled either. There was a grand piano in the corner of the room, along with other instruments. After all, it was a class about music.

I smiled widely, trying to make the best of it. "Hey," I said quietly, doing an awkward wave. "Um, my name is Ms. Johnson, but I won't make you guys call me that. You can call me Jess." A boy in the front row cracked a small smile, making me instantly relax. I just wanted them to be comfortable. "I'm uh, I'm almost twenty, and-" I took a look around to find everyone completely bored out of their minds. Sighing, I pushed a piece of hair out of my face. "Let's put the chairs in a circle."

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