Chapter 24

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"No need," I whispered, a dazed look in my eye. "I understand, okay?" I tried to act as though Justin showing up at my door was normal, even though I was shaking with surprise at the fact he was standing right in front of me.

"No," he shook his head. "Can I come in?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," I whispered immediately after he said it.

He frowned, sadness engulfed in his eyes. "You don't need to be scared of me Je-"

"But I am," I said quietly, not looking into his eyes. "I'm scared of you. And I don't want you in my house," I breathed out, trying not to pass out. "I'm sorry."

He nodded. "It's okay." I was about to shut the door before he stopped me, leaning closer. "Let's talk outside then."

I opened my mouth, then closed it, not knowing what to say. "Talking outside won't change anything. Just go home, okay?"

"Jess."

"Don't call me that!" I hissed. "Don't say my name, don't even try to explain. I'm telling you that I understand, so there, you're off the hook. Take advantage of it."

His eyebrows lowered, the disappointment radiating off his body. "I'm sorry," he squeaked.

"I can't do this right now," I whispered, hands covering my face. "Please, please just go. Riley's waiting-"

"Riley knows I'm here." He said. "I want to explain why I left, then you can hate me for the rest of your life."

I stared at the floor for a minute, then looked up at him, making eye contact that made me unsteady. I nodded, closing the door so we could talk on the porch.

He sat down on the bench while I sat across from him in a chair. "What, you're not going to sit next to me?" He smirked.

"No."

"Jess, you act like I'm some monster or something-"

"You are!" I shouted. "God damn it Justin, you are." I dropped my voice to a low whisper, realizing how loud I was getting.

"It's still me," his voice cracked. "Please, you don't need to be scared-"

"I am." I said. "I trusted you with way more than I should've. But hey, that's my fault. I should've never let you in."

He gawked, not believing his ears. "Jess, you always could've trusted me." His adams apple moved up and down. "You still can."

"No I can't," I choked out. "You probably told Riley everything. Why wouldn't you? You were seeing her while you were still seeing me-"

"That's enough!" He spat harshly. "God damn it that's enough. I would never cheat on you."

"Explain why you were with her at the car dealership a week ago!" I yelled. "We were still together then. You were with her."

"The car dealership-" he paused. "Jess, that wasn't Riley."

"Bullshit."

"I went to Riley for help, Jess!" He hung his head, breathing deeply. "I needed her help the night I left, I hadn't seen her once before that."

"Why'd you need her help?" I stared at him incredulously. "I couldn't help you?"

"No," he breathed out. "Hell no."

"Why?" I whispered.

"I did something," he said. "I messed up so bad Jess."

"I did too." I said. "Damn it Justin, you think I've never messed up? I murdered someone then vandalized their room!"

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