Heal // z.m

48. faces & confusion

Zayn

With a cold, metallic stethoscope pressed to my bare skin, I woke up. Goosebumps appeared on the place were my sleep blouse wasn't covering my skin and when I slowly turned my head, I could see the doctor and Rose sitting at the sides of my bed. They were discussing something I couldn't really hear- my mind was hazy, I couldn't focus on anything.

My eyelids slipped closed and I felt like dozing off, but the cold stethoscope kept moving around, which caused me to wake up every time I thought I would fall asleep fully. Eventually, it came to my notice that someone was shaking me gently, calling my name several times.

"Zayn, are you awake? Can you hear me?" The voice was deep and low, I figured it wasn't Rose.

Pushing myself to open my eyes, I blinked a few times, realising I stared right in the eyes of the doctor. "Oh, look at that. I'm just going to move the upper part of your bed up, that alright?"

Before I could even answer, I felt the bed moving. The covers fell off me, making me shiver at the sudden lose of warmth. Weakly, my arm fell beside my body, but I had no strength to put it back onto my cold stomach. I felt like sleeping, but the doctor had other plans.

"Can you open your mouth?" I did what he asked me to. I slowly opened my mouth and felt a cold and thin glass on my tongue. The doctor took it out moments later, "Thirty nine and a half. Still pretty warm." He mumbled.

"It's been the same for days now.. doesn't he need some antibiotics like last time?" Rose's soft voice made me open my eyes and I tried to smile, but my tiredness didn't allow my muscles to do so. It was the fact that she was always thoughtful, helpful. Considerate. It did something to my feelings. It was something I had craved for, especially in these times. I knew her words could have been said by any nurse, but..

"We can give him that.. but he's also drugged with painkillers and his normal pills. It will be too much and besides, his state is not as risky as it was last time." The doctor replied, rummaging. through his bag with tools.

Moments later, I felt a cold, but soft hand pressed to my warm cheek. The warmth spread throughout my body, craving to do the same to her. I tried to open my eyes, and my hazy gaze fell onto her face after a moment of trying to focus. I saw her genuine smile.

I failed when I tried to return it. I hoped she'd understand that I loved her presence.

"What can I do for him?" Rose questioned, making my cheek feel cold when her hand left my skin. I wanted to feel it again, but had no idea how to make that clear now I was in such state.

The doctor's dark voice said something I couldn't quite understand and not much later I heard my room door close. For a moment I thought Rose had left as well, but when I heard her cough, she proved my thoughts wrong.

My subconscious mind dreamed of making jokes, dreamed of walking through the garden full of flowers, dreamed of spending more time, but my body didn't want to give in.

I was startled when I heard her voice near my ear, making me shiver as her breath warmed my skin "Zayn? I'm going to take off the band aid on your face because your skin has started to irritate."

Opening my eyes, I looked at her in confusion.

She gave me a smile, "The band aid which keeps your tube in place. Your skin is all red and.. isn't it itchy?"

I wanted to chuckle at how chatty she was being, but nothing came out. I brought my hand up to my face, which took a while, and I felt the warm, red spot. The moment my fingers came in contact with it, it started to itch, growing me uncomfortable. "Yeah." I whispered. Nonetheless, it made me cough, my throat feeling dry and my voice hoarse.