The Way She Loved Me

twenty-one

JENNIE.

The hollow fleeting of a blissful night such as this was both a blessing and a curse. I know after this, our skeptical fate would reclaim it's throne and wherever destiny would wing us, it will always lead us down to two choices - it's either we crash or we blend.

To crash is where we end up as broken tiny pieces of a once ecstatic relationship, the kind of love which would take another lifetime to recreate. As beings we will be cracked open, left abandoned and broken, and strained by memories. We will be the ghost of the soul who once lived for it's mate. Loneliness would eat us up, and you learn to live with your dead dreams and longing. But then you decide to move on, and live again perhaps, but living this time would just be a desperate waiting game as you try to find that kind of love again that will set your heart aflame, but to no avail. You finish life with daydreams of the love that once brought you death and life at the same time, beautiful yet tragic.

But to blend is to reform and be as one with the only person in the world you allow yourself to surrender to. Where love meets fate at the right time, where your hearts and souls indulged into the symphony of eternity. A blissful meeting where the world revolves around both of you, no broken hearts, just the intertwining souls of two people in love. It is a spectacle we can rarely encounter, a bond blessed by the universe, but if we did find it, our life would flourish with nothing but joy and love. Lucky are those who find these, for they can live with their significant other, and they can call their little home, forever.

As much as I want to blend with Rosé, which is the only person who keeps me on bended knees, I still cannot fathom over life and it's clever tricks. I end up making decisions that make my problems worse and I don't want to step on places I am uncertain with, I used be good at games, but Rosé was the bait and I could do nothing but lose.

...

"Can't sleep?" Rosé's voice quickly caught my hearing, I was startled but I maintained back my composure and answered, "Yeah."

She then moved closer with her arm right arm laying behind my body as I gently slid my hands through her stomach and lie my legs on top of hers. The next thing we knew we were cuddling again. "By the way, you didn't told me you dance?" The question randomly popped out of my head, "Oh, yes. I like dancing but not as much as I like singing. I just joined the squad since for the past month I suddenly had a lot of free time, and also it was productive way of distracting myself." Her voice faded into a tone of glum, I suddenly regretted that I asked. So I breathed in deep and spaced out for awhile as the quiet atmosphere conquered.

"What are you thinking?" I resurfaced back from the drowning of my thoughts as I heard Rosé muttered those words suddenly. We were still nakedly cuddling each other underneath the blankets with my head placed on her beating heart. I did not know that her chest would be more comfortable than any pillow in the world. It was already dawn, and we had no plans of separating because we fill each other with warmness.
But her question made my body tempered a little colder, I was a little pressured to answer.

"I was thinking about how I will miss this, and how should I stop myself from missing you even more" I answered with softness. "Who's stopping you?" she retorted back with the same lightness, but I choked. I suddenly didn't know what to say, "You know the universe has it's cruel way of saying it hates me, right? And I guess that's it." I answered after a long pause. "It's not only cruel to you though." She quickly replied, I didn't get what she said so I tilted my head upward to meet her eyes, then she continued, "You know how they say the world is unfair? Well they're wrong. The world is fair because it's unfair to everyone."

I hummed in realization, "You're right" I said in agreement, "But you can choose to fight." She added again, "How can I fight without hurting anyone?" I quickly retorted back. "You can't, it's just choosing the right one to fight for and when you finally choose, you defend it with your life even if it means breaking others in the process." She answered quickly with wit. I sighed deeply, knowing that she was referring to me, and that I should start fighting on whatever I want in life.