The Way She Loved Me

twenty-five

ROSÉ.

A loud crowd of three thousand triggered my anxiety the moment when it was our turn to dance on stage, Fuck anxiety. I can do this, my future girlfriend's watching. I silently mumbled hoping that thought would encourage my trembling body.

We slowly walked into the open green field and positioned ourselves at the center right away. The crowd were screeching and screaming for our team, many Sydney uni students came in to support and it was overwhelming to see how they put up this big banner with our name on that occupied three rows of chair. I've never been hyped by all these people.

For a moment, I tried eyeing Jennie in the crowd and successfully made eye contact with my girl crush. Damn, I think I just saw her wink at me. That thought brought my energy and determination back up, as I positioned myself at the middle. When BBHMM by Rihanna started to play, we gladly executed.

...

My body felt light as a feather, as I flexed every dance move. I was in complete happiness, it was strange because everything was simple. I was extremely in glee with every step that I took and devoured the music as my feet move to its every beat. There was no burden nor worry, my feet and hands took over as if my body had encoded all the moves to execute already. I was in tranquility, my mind and heart was clear. This feeling. It's been long since I've felt this free and loose.

Ever since Jennie came, honestly, I thought my life was sucked by a whirlpool, it was fast and blissful yet dangerous and fleeting at the same time. I loved it because I had the chance to love her, regardless. Let's admit it, Jennie is one hell of work, I mended my heart to give it to her only to be broken once again, yet here I am still, waiting for her because I know, she will be the only thing that will heal me inside.

Why? Because she's Jennie Kim. She is in every beat of my heart, in every string of my guitar, in every song that I play, in every places that I go, and in every world that is left unknown. She is love in every form.

Heaven knows how much hell I will go through just to let her stay in my world. And thank god, she f'cking stayed. She fought for me, at last. No wonder I feel so joyful and sentimental now that the love of my life finally wants me too. Although we don't have any label yet, which is sad, but all I could do is wait.

These thoughts about her were all that I needed to finish my last dance move with confidence, without regrets and worry. I placed myself with just the right distance as I ran to increase my pace. I executed an aerial cartwheel in the center and made a split for the ending pose. Right at that moment, all the burden rolled away, as everyone in the crowd cheered for us, I was ecstatic myself.

...

We went backstage, Jisoo and Jennie were already there as they greeted us with proud smiles. Of course, Lisa quickly stole a long kiss from her tiny girlfriend as she lifts her up again. I know Jisoo's so proud of her one and only. Jennie, on the other hand, giddily approached and I couldn't help but smile at her gummy face, "Baby, you did great!" I was surprised on how vocal she was, considering that there's like a hundred people here backstage. I quickly embraced her tight, as a response to her greeting. "Thank god that was over!" I sighed deeply, as I found relief in her arms. "Here." She suddenly let go of our embrace and grabbed something under the inner pocket of her black cashmere coat, I gasped too loud. She handed me a rose.

"What the f- you really bought me a rose?" I asked out of disbelief. All these sudden heart attacks she's giving is too much to intake. I'm falling hard, again. "Yes. Why? Did I go too far?" She carried out a worry expression, but I shook my head simultaneously as I covered my mouth with my hands. I knew I was about to cry. Help. "Oh fuck. Don't cry." she placed her hands on my shoulders while fondling it for comfort. "I'm sorry I cry easily." I excused, as I try to stop my tears and sobs. "Don't get me wrong, I really love the rose. It's just that I'm such an emotional person." I added out as I fanned my face while tilting my eyes up. "Can you even get any cuter?" She giggled as she continued comforting me. I accepted the rose, and I never felt my heart go warm and light. I hugged her once again, "Thank you." I said in a genuine tone. "Anything for you, babe." She quickly replied, my heart was galloping inside. Jennie is making me feel things again. I screamed internally.