I'm Not Myself (Rochu)

I'm sorry

1p China P.O.V

"China-san please, don't hurt yourself," Japan spoke as I giggled

"Yes or no aru?" I asked again

"I'm tired aru...please let me rest, please give me a break...." 

"I know China-san, I know but please drop the gun," he slowly stepped forward

"But you need land aru," I slipped a finger to the trigger

 "No!! Don't!" Japan lashed out. I was taken by surprise.

"What will your siblings think? What will your friends think?" he asked

"What will Japan think?" He stepped forward 

"They would be happy aru..." I replied as I flashed him a smile

"Japan aru needs land just like you and Hong Kong has England aru...Korea as Taiwan...and Russia...well he doesn't even remember me aru..." I looked down 

"He doesn't know who I am anymore aru..."

"America aru will take good care of Japan, England aru will do the same to Hong Kong, Taiwan will look after Korea, I know they will!!"

"And for Russia aru..."

"He will find a new-"

BANG!!!

1p Russia P.O.V

My eyes widen as shock began to rise soon pain took over. Everything went quiet, I fell back onto the ground to see Itay running towards me as China towered over me with widened eyes.

"RUSSIA!!" I could hear someone call my name as my vision began to burr. I could see the outlines of Italy who was on his knees

"Japan!! Get me the first aid kit!!" Itay cried he placed his hands on my chest

"Russia! Stay awake! Focus on my voice! Don't close your eyes!"

Everything began to slow down, everything became a burr...

Everything became dark...

2p China P.O.V

I watched Russia close his eyes as Italy and Japan both tried their best to keep him alive. Sure Russia will live but he can feel pain.

" I wonder who pulled the trigger aru," I turned around to face France who trembled as he lowered his gun

"France!!" 

"You aimed for the wrong person aru~" I drew my sword as I walked up to him as slow as possible 

"You shouldn't have done that aru~"

 "Stay away!!" France yelled at me 

"I won't kill you aru~ Don't worry," I giggled as I ran at him holding my sword up high, jamming it into his leg, pinning him down to the floor. His screams are music to my ears as well as his tears. I towered over him with a grin placed on my lips.

"It hurts doesn't it aru?"

"Kids these days thinking that being stronger means you will win,"  I spat

"This is just a warning! No one hurt my sibling even if they hate me, No one hurt them!!" 

"You think Russia as your sibling?"  I looked over  at England and smiled

"I raised him aru, just like how I raised my siblings," I replied suddenly my head began to spin, my vision began to burr, I dropped my sword, holding my head as I screamed in pain.

Not again!!

You can't save anyone

Not now!!!

You're useless

"Shit!" England cursed  As I screamed he ran to me, trying to me still as he held me in his arms

Piece of shit

"China!! Calm down you'll only make it worst!!"

No one loves you

"SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!" I yelled as my grip on my head tightened 

No one cares about you

"STOP IT!! STOP IT!!"

1p China P.O.V

My head began to spin as my vision began to burr, I dropped the gun as I stumbled back holding my head, slamming my eyes shut.

Bitch

"Stop it!" I cried

Slut

"Shut up!!"

No one likes you

"S-Shut up please!!"

"China-san?" I could hear Japan's voice 

"S-Stop it!! Stop it!!" my voice began to rise

"China...." Japan just realzied what was happening to me, he has seen it many time when he was younger but he never helped, after all, he didn't know what to do and he was young so he would all ways call England up.

"Germany-san I need you to keep an eye on Onii-san for me," 

He called me his big brother

His a lier

"SHUT UP!!!" I screamed 

"Russia-san please," I could hear footsteps as well as Japan's voice

He can't save you

"China..." I could hear Russia's voice

No one can save you

"SHUT UP!!!"

"STOP IT!!"

Both 1p and 2p China P.O.V

I opened my eyes as tears escaped, I fell to my knees as I clucked my head, my hands slowly slipped down to my sides.

"You win..."

"You win aru..."

"You're right aru..."

"You're always right aru..." I looked up at England/Russia who stood in front of me in pure shock, I looked down to see France/Japan's gun on the ground, I reached out for it.

"China! Please stop it! I know you're in pain but please stop it!" England/Japan begged 

"I'm sorry aru..." I looked up at them with a smile on my face as I held the gun up to my head

"England aru look after Hong Kong, America aru I trust you to keep Japan save and Germany aru if you can please keep an eye out on Taiwan and Korea for me?" 

"And Russia..." I looked over to/at him as a single tear ran down my cheek

"I love you aru!" I smiled

"CHINA!!!"

Everything was calm,

dark

and quite 

Finaly I can rest...

Goodbye...

I'm sorry Russia