growing wings | Completed

13. the only fool

     the ground i sit upon is warm, and the cool wind sweeps over my frivolous thoughts,

     there is a curtain of stars, each of them magnificent. already dead.

     i don't remember coming to this place, my thoughts are slowly turning aphotic and my mind rots,

     there seems to be a problem with me, and i've known it for a while, and i just imagine what she'd do if i bled.

     would concern be prettily adorned in her auriferous eyes? would her words intoxicate me with kindness and benevolence?

     my mind is eating up itself, one bite at a time, and my screams are hushed, for no one should hear, their cure is their arrogance.

     i am selfish, and greedy for her to give me her altruistic ways, tender hands on my cheek, and breathing honesty.

     i wish she'd remember me.

     "ezra, i didn't see you there," her voice is like the calm waves on a gentle breeze, 

     i do not stand up as i know she'll sit down right beside me, where she belongs.

     words form in my throat but are stuck, nervous to slip by my tongue, i wish i could speak easily, i wish my mind wouldn't corrupt itself over minuscule matters, please.

      "how is your family?" why did it take so long?

      so long to form four simple words. silence had hung heavily yet, her melodic voice swiftly fills up the void.

      she makes me so very nervous, and my heartbeat rattles against my ribcage, and i feel the butterflies filling up my lungs.

     "they're good," and i look over to her, her head is hung down, eyeing her hands.

     "how are you?" the question catches her by surprise, the way her head whipped to my direction, her heart on her sleeve, and her breath caught.

      "me?"     

      and that was the second the sun exploded.

      and the stars were dying. dying. and dead.

      "i've been better."

     why was i the only fool that stayed by her side? why was i the only fool that knew she was a falling star, her sparks receding to wisps of smoke?

     and perhaps, that answer may have answered my questions.

     that she was suffocating within her thoughts and so was i.

     silence seemed like our only friend in common, as he sat with us, only allowing the wind to speak in hushed words, that crawled into our ears and diseased our mind with warped ideas.

      perhaps i knew i was the fool, and yet, i didn't seem to mind. 

- the only fool