growing wings | Completed

49. these days i tend to lie

these days i tend to lie,

     these days i can't help but want to wither away.

these days i tend to feel helpless,

      these days i can't help but want to implode onto myself.

i feel as though i am reaching for something that doesn't exist,

      i feel as though i am reaching for something impossible,

and maybe that something isn't even meant to be in my reach.

and maybe i'm not reaching, perhaps, flailing.

these days i tend to lay on my back,

      these days i can't help but feel as though the air is stolen from me.

the sun doesn't shine on me anymore,

     and the moons looks at me in shame.

maybe neptune will take me in,

      i mean, my father doesn't.

my mother told me my time would come one day,

      all i need to do is wait.

and i've done my time, and one day when centuries have passed,

and all of my loved ones are near their deathbeds,

i will not have decayed. for i am a timeless eternal being.

existing is my punishment, and death would be a sweet, sweet release from this damned prison.

- these days i tend to lie