growing wings | Completed

16. stuck with me

     i wish our hands would intertwine, and i could finally see the stars and galaxies that others gush about,

      i would finally see the sunsets ooze with color, from red fading into oranges, or purples into blues,

      i would finally feel a rose blossom in my heart, and the thorns would not bother me at all, because i would finally feel.

     yet i am a step away from her, in this morning, crisp november air,

     and she has coated her pretty hands with gloves, and mine are shaking ever so slightly.

     this bus seems to come hours late, and she chooses to sit right in front of me.

     oh how my heart aches for her.

     yet i cannot revolve my life around her, no, i've promised this to myself.

     even if i cannot keep promises, i will still try.

     and this vehicle moves us to a room confining our minds abilities, yet frees them.

     and her rosy cheeks dull in color as the building comes in sight,

     like draining the colors of a painting.

     my mind is silent today, a minefield, with hidden bombs.

     i can only tread carefully, or i will be at eternal unrest.

     so, here i am. stuck with me.

      what can i do? talk to a therapist? about how i have infatuation for a girl who does not remember me? about how my fingers tremble in fear, each attached to my heartstrings? about how my lungs are filled with flowers and that my ears bleed all the colors of the rainbow?

     what do i talk about exactly?

     my mouth cannot form words as easily as others can, yet my voice is stable, unwavering and steady.

     this dark ocean seems to continue to drown me, enveloping me in its warmth.

      if i let go,

     then maybe, finally, i will be at peace.

- stuck with me